UNTITLED
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Love.
It's such an awkward thing.
But we long,
and hope;
we need
and bleed,
aching hearts for such a dream.
No longer safe to hold,
it's a shame we'll have to let go –
and let it fly away like dragon flies.
To drift off into the wind.
Never to be seen again.
AT FIRST SIGHT
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Do we love for seconds?
Live in the now?
Or wait to see what the future brings?
Some way some how
A billion stars to count
A million fishes in the sea
What then, will your heart give to me?
Love is a game of chance
It can come at only a glance
It can come at first light
Yeah, it can come at first sight.
OUT OF REACH
(by Randy E. Halprin)
A moon hangs low,
nearly touching the water.
I think about her.
I watch
I wish
I dream…
There are times when I wish you were here.
Sitting by my side,
holding my hand.
Using my shoulder for a cry.
There are times when I wish you had never gone away.
I get tired of reliving the pain,
of watching you walk away.
The sun reflects like silver and gold,
and I stare out at nothing,
chasing away the ghosts…
And when I see foot prints in the sand,
I think of yours.
And when I hear the tide come crashing in,
I think of unopened doors.
And when the night fades away,
I miss your moans,
your whispering softly,
asking me for more.
It was our world,
it was a never ending universe.
It was one,
but now it's all gone…
The day light breaks and I walk into the water
my heart is broken, carrying stones in my pockets.
There are times when I wish you were here and I wish…
I wish you weren't so out of reach.
EXPOSED
(by Randy E. Halprin)
It's not hard for me to let it go.
It's not hard for me to put on a show.
And I just wanted you -
wanted you to know:
in spite of my words,
I'll keep you in my heart wherever I go.
There are times when it's easier for me to cry.
There are days when I just can't say goodbye.
But I wanted you -
wanted you to know:
You'll always be with me wherever I decide to go.
(And the sunlight breaks into my head,
Exposing how naked I truly am.
Exposing me to be a boy and not a man.)
I'm weak when I get like this.
So weak that it makes me sick.
A prism of colors bleeding before my eyes.
Becoming the lie that is my life.
I realise...
It's real.
I could die.
I'm exposed -
like black and white.
By the negative that's become my life.
So I just wanted you -
wanted you to know:
I'll take you with me wherever I go.
SEARCH
(by Randy E. Halprin)
There was
Me and you
A perfect circle
A shining sun
On a beautiful day
A blue so bright
It made us
Cry
And we sang the song that is our heart
So perfect
So pretty
So...
Are you
I looked into your eyes
Like almonds,
big and brown
Shining like a perfect sun
On a beautiful day
It makes me cry -
and it makes my heart sing
You were my soul
So...
Where are you?
Where are you?
I want you
I need you
I sleep you
I dream you
So...
Why do I feel so alone?
I will find you
I swear that I will.
DESTINY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Sitting in a room
Lost in the vacuum
Thinking of the reasons,
so many seasons have passed.
It's like I was made out of glass.
And I think of her…
Standing at the edge of the world holding her hands.
Lost in the void that was her eyes.
I've seen too much
I've loved too much
I've cried too much
That it leaves me out of touch
With who I am inside.
She caressed my face,
but it was numb.
She kissed my lips,
but I couldn't feel her tongue.
And she looked at me,
when it was no longer fun.
The flowers were dead,
and so was the love.
And for a while you had your way.
Even when I could see your smile
It was much too fake,
as in love I was -
I was too blind to see
There was really no such thing as destiny.
FEEL
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Don't go - don't leave me here,
don't leave me here without.
I feel you slipping back again,
I feel you giving out.
The sharpened swords -
the broken words,
that make me scream and shout.
I knew it all was over,
before we crashed the clouds.
(When daydreams don't work
And prayers don't heal,
the nightmare forks
The love I feel.)
I thought you had it all.
I thought you were the world.
Even when the insults stung,
you were my precious girl.
The knife sharp words.
The world turned over.
They cut me to the bone.
I knew it all was over -
before I went back home.
(When daydreams don't bring happiness
And smiles just don't heal,
the nightmares feed my loneliness.
But never,
no never,
never stop this love I still feel.)
END GAME (GAME OVER)
(by Randy E. Halprin)
The chances and changes -
still everything remains the same.
Broken promises,
your love in vain.
I cursed the reasons,
but played the game.
Born to rearrange.
But -
forgot to check myself back in again.
Running away has gotten old.
Knowing youth has grown stale.
The times I've loved,
have only brought hell.
(But I played the game -
took the chances
I played the game,
had short lived romances.
Yeah, I played the game,
lost again
And again and again and again...)
Yeah, it's the end game again.
Game over I guess.
It's all the same.
It's all the fucking same.
IT IS WHAT IT IS
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Do you let it all end?
Do you walk away?
From every loving thing we did
From every promise that we made
Can you remember the first time you looked into my eyes?
"You have eyes to die for," you said.
And I can remember the first time,
the first words,
the last goodbye.
But now all you can say is, "It is what it is."
Even when I always beg, don't let it end.
I guess I can't really pretend
Or hold back what I'm really feeling inside.
I don't see the same girl anymore,
I can't feel the same anymore.
Do you really want to say goodbye?
Do I pretend not to cry?
Look back at everything we did.
Oh well. She said -
"It is what it is".
GOOD NIGHT
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I stumbled
I fell
I fumbled
I held
Your love
In my hands
I loved you early in the mornings
Even when you yelled
I crumbled
Just to kiss you
Just to see you smile
Sunrise
Goodnight
You said with a sigh
But it's not even evening
I cried
The days not even falling
The nights not even calling
Our names
Blame
Only playing games
I held
I stumbled
This time I yelled
Even when the moon hasn't risen.
PONE
(Pone is a type of cake.. Just a little FYI :))
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I'd given up.
Spilled over my cup;
time and time again.
Never thought
I’d find it again.
I wanted to have my cake (and eat it too)
Never thought I’d fall into you.
This seemed just to good to be true.
But there’s not much to do,
but take a bite now.
Deserve it or not,
I have fought;
(even when my mind never understood why)
In spite of my distraught.
Damn this tastes good tonight.
THE DAY DREAMER
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I'm day dreaming again.
I'm floating on the wind,
with arms stretched out like angels –
I think of you.
The stars are your halo,
shines brightly in the night.
Oh, how I wish for just one night.
I think of you,
yours cheeks kissed gently by the sun.
My arms reaching for you –
please don't run.
In my moments like this,
it's all I can wish,
it's all I can hope.
I think of forever and my own fragility.
(What does forever mean?)
I'm day dreaming of you and me...
STRANGLE HOLD
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Like a strangle hold,
you have my heart.
Hands gripped tightly around it.
I'm confused and scared.
Sometimes I don't know what to do,
or where I should run.
But I'm so tired of running away.
Afraid to face the day,
afraid to face the truth.
What more can I do?
I'm hostage to your soul.
I'm in your strangle hold.
MY VANILLA
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Fall from the sky,
my vanilla.
Cover me with smiles,
my vanilla.
You're good with strawberries,
you taste so sweet.
A treat from the heavens,
you lift me up off my feet.
My vanilla,
will you still love me when I fail?
Will you remain by my side?
Because, my dear vanilla,
you make me feel so good inside.
INTO SUNSET
(by Randy E. Halprin)
She shouldn't have to kiss him farewell -
only for this time.
A smile and hand upon his face,
a tear to say good bye.
Into sunset she will walk,
and leave him standing in darkness.
Shooting stars and falling sadness.
This night will be good bye.
FOREVER ALOUD
(by Randy E. Halprin)
These dreams kiss us sweetly in the night,
falling from endless sleep.
Upon restless nightmare you've chased from me.
Free to open our wings,
fly high above the sea of clouds.
Forever in flight,
forever in love,
forever aloud.
ON SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
It's a shame we should fall on such a beautiful day.
It's a shame we should cry,
or that we should die on such a beautiful day.
You hold me in your arms,
as we kiss our last kiss.
One last dance.
One last breath.
One last kiss.
Blood pouring from our eyes,
as our hearts flutter and die.
The end is at head;
our love is gone,
our love is dead.
Oh, what a shame!
That this should happen,
that this should end...
On such a beautiful day.
BLISS
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Just a little sip from your lips,
that's all I hope.
A taste.
A touch.
To smell your hair,
to feel your skin,
and hold onto you tightly –
to never let go.
Just a sip.
One little drink.
As we'd slip into bliss.
TRIP THIS LOVE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
We trip this love fantastic.
So spastic.
So in awe tonight.
Dreams surround us,
with heavens light above us.
Neon and bright.
We trip this love,
forever aglow,
like angel white snow.
So drastic.
So in awe tonight.
CHANGED TOO MUCH
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Mariposa,
where are you now?
Mariposa,
I can't figure it out.
You changed.
You grew,
and flew.
At first I was proud,
that you had broken from your cocoon.
But the butterfly I knew,
has flown away.
The butterfly I loved,
is not the same.
Mi linda mariposa has gone astray,
and left me with the shell she was yesterday.
NOTHING’S IMPOSSIBLE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
There you were,
the woman of my dreams.
Impossible to touch.
Impossible it seemed.
Your gorgeous eyes.
Your gorgeous smile.
Impossible to look at you,
for only a short while.
I miss you telling me, "I love you, Baby".
I miss you saying, "I love your eyes, Randy".
Impossible as it seemed,
I could never truly give up on the dream.
But now all I can do is scream...
Because I've lost you forever,
or so it seems.
I miss you in a hundred thousand different ways.
I pray to win you back,
because I feel nothing's impossible,
today.
TITLE UNKNOWN
(by Randy E. Halprin)
(I can't remember the first verse of this song but the music is still in my head, and at least half of the lyrics have remained in my memory. It was written during the summer of '95, and I composed the music solely on my keyboard just before I pawned it. I think I did have a title to the song when I wrote it, but it's disappeared from memory now)
(First verse unknown...)
But you just sit and stare across the room,
thinking of things I've done.
Waiting for some one to comfort you.
Losing hope you start to run.
From the lies I told you,
and the games that I played,
and those fake summer smiles,
on those cold winter days.
Oh, please understand,
what I say now, is true:
I didn't mean to hurt you.
I didn't mean to make you cry.
I didn't mean to say those things to you.
Didn't mean to say good bye...
LOUDER THAN WORDS
(by Randy E. Halprin)
"We've got to hold onto the things
that make us smile.
Because we know this life lasts only
a short while.
We've got to hold on,
for things don't last that long,
we've got to hold on.
Even if we don't feel that strong,"
she said.
So where do we belong?
Why do I have this sense of failure?
How do I remain strong,
when you treat me like an unanswered prayer?
Your actions speak louder than words.
You've got to know by now,
actions speak louder than words.
That's why I'm asking you how.
CRACKS IN A FISHBOWL
(by Randy E. Halprin)
We burned the pictures,
in a cracking fishbowl
A February chill,
and stories left untold.
We burned the pictures,
all for a new beginning,
for a love without ending,
all starting in a fishbowl.
And as the fishbowl cracked,
my pictures turned to flame and ash
The February wind carrying it all away
Taking my memories away,
leaving me with nothing but a fishbowl -
that couldn't hold water anymore.
DRIFT WOOD
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I threw myself to her mercy,
hoping she'd carry me home.
Instead I'm rotting away,
wasting,
a piece of driftwood in the sea.
Will I reach the shore?
It's too far away to see.
All I can see are rolling waves,
marked by seaweed and filth -
filth I've contributed to.
Maybe I hoped someone would find me,
pick me up,
carve me into something wonderful,
sit me on their shelf,
in their office
(be proud of me).
Instead I'm just out here drifting,
rotting away.
BECAUSE OF YOU
(by Randy E. Halprin)
It couldn't be more perfect.
It couldn't be more wonderful than this.
The days are getting better,
and all I've hoped is in your kiss.
The smiles just keep pouring.
I am no longer running away.
When the sun rises up,
I can finally embrace the day.
Because of you I'm happy,
no more tears stream down my face.
Because of you I see rainbows,
and your love is my saving grace.
Because of you I'm dancing,
I can finally smile at the day.
Because of you I am standing strong,
you've chased my pain away.
It couldn't be a better day.
There couldn't be a better way,
to say how much you've changed me.
Because of you I am happy.
ONLY PLACE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I'm lost in your heart.
I'm one with your soul.
And even when I don't know,
which direction I should go -
you're the only place that I can call home.
ENTRANCE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Why can't I receive you?
Why can't I receive truth?
Why can't I receive what I want to believe in -
why don't prayers go answered,
and wishes come true?
Why can't I believe in what's not right in front of your eyes?
Deep inside the sea grows.
The flower blooms.
I want to hope.
I want the truth.
So...
Where are you -
if not right in front of my eyes?
They call you truth.
They call you divine.
Though, the pain won't subside -
even when I try to invite you in.
CRY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
(words inspired by Explosion In The Sky's "The Moon Is Down")
Don't cry.
I told you.
I need you.
I love you.
Even if I have to go.
I won't be gone long.
I'll always be your love song.
Don't cry.
Please let those tears dry.
I wish I could kiss you a thousand times.
And even if I can't -
I love you.
I won't be gone forever.
I told you.
I still need you.
I love you.
I'll wait forever.
DISINTIGRATE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
I think I've finally accepted my fate.
Love, this time has come too late.
And now as I watch it all disintegrate right in front of my eyes.
I can't say that I was taken by surprise.
There's no more hidden chances.
No long distance romances.
My luck with love always seems to fall straight through.
Heart burned by the flames of dark spells.
(I guess it would be easier to say oh well, but hell... I can't)
Fate.
She ran away.
Fate.
She won't be coming back today.
I can watch it all disintegrate.
TAFFY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
There you were -
hidden in plain sight
You came to me when I needed you most
Came to me when it was right
I felt like I was letting go
But you grabbed my hand -
took a hold
Kept me from falling from the edge
I am still falling
But this time,
falling into you
Falling slowly
Into an endless night sky
Swimming in reflective puddles
That are your eyes.
I'll dry your tears
If you'll dry mine too
Kiss my lips
So sticky sweet
Taffy
I'll never let go of you.
SILLY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Like a bug
Snug in a rug
I'm giving you
the warmest hug
and like a dream
you fill me lighter
than air
So much that I really
don't care
If I never come down
If I never touch the ground
cause your love
makes me high again
makes me smile again
I'm so deep in love with you
I'm holding you tight
Never want to lose sight
of what matters the most
Yeah, I get silly
Go all willy nilly
and at times can't make sense
of anything at all
But I love it
I love to fall -
Fall in love with you
all over and over and over
and over
again
You make me silly
Like a bug
all snug in a rug.
DAY AND NIGHT
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Loving you is the only way to be
Staring in your beautiful eyes make it easy to
And when you sleep
Well, you're all I dream
Loving you is all there is for me
And I know I don't always get it right
I struggle. I fumble
But I try
A day without you is a day without air
Daydreaming our yesteryear
My face in your hair
Your courage. Your strength
Your heart and your tears
Make it all too easy to love you
To not get lost in my own fears
And I know I don't always say it right
I stumble. I mumble
But you can't say I don't try
A night without you is a sky with no stars
Daydreaming for eternity
Swallowed up in your heart
Loving you is the only way for me
It's the only path I see
When I'm awake
When I'm asleep
You make it so easy
ANYTHING BUT YOU
A Song
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Sometimes I feel so broken inside
I try not to show my tears
Inside of fear I hide
All of the pain, all of the years
All of the broken dreams
and scares
But I'm trying to show you
Show you in actions
Not in words
and I know my mouth sometimes gets in the way
I get ahead of my heart
Ahead of my brain
I think often of the stupid things I say,
I wish I could go back and change
It all for you
Take it all away
From you
All the messed up things
I threw at you
And I could lose anything
Anything but you
I could lose anything
Anything but you
I'm down on my hands and knees
For you
I would do anything
For you
I just don't want to lose
The most important thing that matters:
You
POSSIBILITY
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Today is full of hope
It's as high as the sky
Anything is possible
If I can get it right
And I know I'll try
I'll try and try
Yeah, I can get it right
This time...
The sun is shining bright today
I'm sailing in the blue
And there's nothing in the world
That could ever undo
These feelings of all I want
And hope
And wish
And dream
I can get it right this time
I'll let the whole world see
My life is full of possibilities
I have no choice but to believe
My life is full of endless hope
And possibility
THE TIGHTEST GRIP
(by Randy E. Halprin)
A winter's breeze
Ice cold words
and an ice cold truth
that brings me to my knees
The sky is charcoal grey
And I've lost the words to say
Or how to explain everything in my heart
Today
I give it all back to the universe
As the air has the tightest grip on me
And your words, well they always dig bone deep
Because they have the tightest grip on me
And I feel like such a fool
For not being able to see
What I said
What I did
What I've done
How I changed
And what I've become
I can't believe I couldn't see
That I lost my grip on reality
LOVE BIRDS
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Blue sky-
Blue sky,
Blue sky-
Blue sky
The sun is shining bright
Everything we have now, feels so right.
Fly high-
Fly high,
Fly high-
Fly high
Spread our wings to kiss the sky
Like two love birds
Singing from the heart
Nothing can touch us now
Nothing could ever tear us apart
They can try to clip our wings
But these birds will always sing
And these birds will always dream
There's no space, no distance in between
The sky is open wide
The sky is never ending
Never ending
Never ending
Blue sky-
Blue sky,
Blue sky-
Blue sky
These two love birds are always dreaming
REPEAT AND START AGAIN
(by Randy E. Halprin)
There's nothing I wouldn't say
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
I'd bend the universe
In every which way
I'd do this all to be with you
There's nothing that I wouldn't give
There's nothing that I wouldn't prove
I'd cast a spell out into the bright blue world
I'd do this all to see it through
(And if the dark clouds come...
And the world should end
I'll hold onto you tighter
Repeat and start again)
There's nothing that I wouldn't try
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
I'd pray, hope, wish, sing and dance
I'd sell my soul to be with you
(And if the rain should pour...
And the floods should bring an end
I'll just hold your hand tighter
Repeat and start again
Repeat and start again
Repeat and start again)
NOT ANOTHER FICTION
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Swimming in an endless sea of blue
The wind whisps around my body
As I dream of you
Counting the endless stars at night
Swallowed by the moon
Aching to my very bones
Yeah, I am aching for you
So many times I've fallen
So many times I've died
And lay awake in another fiction
Waiting for my tears to dry
(And I'll pray to the heavens
I'll pray to all the Gods
If it brings you here to me
If it puts you in my arms)
You don't know the power you have
The power over me
I've fallen at just one kiss
I've fallen to my knees
The sky has ripped wide open
Poured its pain on me
But cleansed my heart and soul with love
Bathed me in your beauty
(And I'll pray to the heavens
I'll pray to all the Gods
If it means you stay with me
I promise – we'll beat the odds)
I don't want another fiction -
I don't want a fairy tale
Don't need another addiction -
or a story to tell
I just want you here with me
Asleep in my loving arms
I'll pray to all the heavens
I swear, we'll beat the odds
THERE’S NOTHING MUCH
(by Randy E. Halprin)
There's nothing much
I can say to you
But...
I want you
I need you
You haunt me
I love you
Distance makes the heat grow fonder
But alone I sit
Alone I ponder
How much I...
Want you
I need you
I love you
You are my muse
My heart is breaking
My body aching
And it might not sound like much
But I'm here for the taking
I don't have a lot to give
But that's not a reason for our love not
to live
There's nothing much
I can say to you
But...
You're everything
I will always need
You.
THE SILENCE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
Staring at the ceiling
I was daydreaming
Of a time that I wish could be.
Holding you close
Watching you sleep
Listening to the cool autumn breeze.
Hold me, just hold me...
I want to hear the stories you once told of
Children playing, trees swaying
To and fro.
And you, my love -
not perfect, but perfect for me
For you, my love -
I'll crawl on hands and knees.
Hold me, just hold me...
In this silence let's be
Hold me, just hold me,
In silence
In eternity...
MISERABLE
(by Randy E. Halprin)
It's a miserable day
And that's okay,
the sun will shine again.
It's a miserable day
But hey,
I say let us embrace the grey...
The barren trees
The cold dark sky
The magic in our breath
As we cling tightly together
Tonight.
Because if being miserable means
Being closer to you
I'll take that over
Sunshine
Any day.