April 21st, 2026
I’m starting the morning slightly irritated. I didn’t get much sleep last night because 83 cell was bouncing off the walls all night. At breakfast time he demanded that the officer passing the meals out give him someone else’s diet tray, which had eggs on it. He told the officer he was allergic to waffles. The officer, a kind African man, asked if he was gluten-free. 83 cell told him no, he was only allergic to waffles. The officer tried to hand him the waffle tray, and the guy slapped it out of his hand, which sent the waffles flying across the floor. This turned into an event in and of itself, because the guy essentially assaulted the officer. SRTs were called, and they did their best to diffuse the situation without a use of force.
I managed to get back to sleep an hour or so after breakfast, when my sleep was interrupted by some officers at my door, wanting me to sign very important paperwork. I was barely awake, but got it done. I noticed one of the officers standing in front of my door had a very perplexing belt buckle. It had a bright and colorful rainbow that swooped across the steel plate of the buckle. Underneath it in black bold letters was JESUS. Underneath Jesus was the shape of the state of Texas. If he was representing the LGBTQ+ community, that would’ve been bold and cool. However, when I asked him the significance of the rainbow, he said it symbolized taking back the rainbow for Jesus. I nodded my head and thought, oh geez, I didn’t know it had ever been stolen from him.
Tablets were passed out, and mine was not charged last night. So now I have to wait until my tablet has been fully charged to be able to do anything.
I was just thinking, 83 cell is scheduled for a court hearing today. If they don’t get him anytime soon, it is only going to add fuel to the fire of his belief that he was kidnapped by Dallas County and will probably send him into conspiracy overdrive today. Yup, officer just told him his court hearing has been rescheduled. He is losing his mind. He just looked at me, screamed at me that I had something to do with it, and I was part of the people that kidnapped him. Looks like it’s going to be a long day.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
April 16th, 2026
Thursday morning. It’s been a pretty loud morning. It all started shortly after breakfast, and the noise gave me a mild anxiety attack, as I feared I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. There have been a couple of nights this past week in which sleep was spotty due to the chaos, and it does psychologically affect me when I can’t keep my normal sleep schedule. I worry I’ll sleep past recreation; it affects my mental functioning, and it can get me depressed. Fortunately, I managed to doze back off after doing some breathing techniques to calm my mind down. I woke back up at around 7:30 AM and got my day started. Shortly after 8 AM, I jumped on the phone to say my good morning and then commissary came, which brought about more noise. The mentally ill guy across from my cell was practically yelling and going on about conspiracies against him. The latest one he has been telling me about is how the SRTs have smuggled his ex-girlfriend into the jail using a trash can. He said they put her into the trash can (one of those big grey Rubbermaid trash cans with wheels), rolled her onto the floor, and then rolled her into another inmate’s cell, so that she and that inmate can have sex. I asked why they would do that, and he felt it was retaliation because he was going to expose Dallas County Jail. Obviously, his girlfriend is in on it with the jail and trying to retaliate against him as well. “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” he told me.
The other day, he told me that the jail was trying to prevent him from implementing his billion-dollar idea. When I inquired what that idea was, he told me that he wanted to open 2 hair salons—one for men, one for women, called ‘Cuts n’ Butts.’ The idea was that a man or woman could into a hair salon and have their hair cut by a scantily clad female or male, as well as get lap dances in the process. I told him that it sounded brilliant, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it already existed. After all, they have housemaid services where woman come dressed in lingerie and will clean your house. He was certain that ‘Cuts n’ Butts’ didn’t exist. I asked him what he would do with the billion dollars, and he said he was going to buy Dallas County Jail. I think he’s on to something, haha.
I went outside yesterday. It was a peaceful, gray, but warm morning. I saw a horrible thing happen, though, and it really disturbed me. I’d read about the problem that cities have with birds flying into windows on buildings and sometimes killing themselves. I saw it happen for the first time myself as I was watching a big grey bird perched on the ledge of some kind of wall that surrounds these huge industrial fans for the jail. The bird suddenly took off and began flying towards the court building, its path straight towards the window. I had a horrible feeling that it was about to fly straight into the window. The bird smacked into it hard and then dropped like a rock. I cringed and could only hope that bird would be okay, but I never saw it fly back up, so I don’t know that it was.
On another note, last night we discovered many missing journals lost to time for one reason or the other. We’re going to clean them up and soon repost them. They go back as far as 2006. I’m just happy they’ve been recovered and weren’t lost completely.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
April 11th, 2026
Saturday morning. I’m not sure what time it is, but I’m fairly certain it’s after 8 AM. The med nurse has already been by, and I can hear people going to visitation, which runs from 8 AM to 2 PM on Saturdays and Sundays. Not sure why the tablets haven’t been passed out yet, but in waiting, it does give me a chance to do some writing and be inside of my head for a bit.
Yesterday I watched a short video that Kevin Ramsby posted via his Fight to Forgive channel on the Pando app. (Pando is a religious app geared towards providing access to content for prisoners, however, people in the free world can also download this app as well and view the same content. There’s some cool stuff there, including movies and streaming series, so I suggest checking it out. As far as I know, it’s free.) He was talking about returning to Texas Death Row next week for another seminar. And then he gave a funny birthday shoutout to the Death Row Field Minister Hubert ‘Troup’ Foster. I’ve known Troup since 2021. He has been integral in mentoring me/guiding me in my desire to become a Life Coach or Field Minister. What he’s done in terms of being a servant/leader for Death Row has been unprecedented. Troup’s own personal journey is quite remarkable. He has been a lifelong drug addict and gang member; in 2000, he faced the death penalty from a capital murder charge. A single jury member spared his life, and he vowed that he would spend every day of the rest of his life proving to the lone jury member that they made a right choice. While serving his life sentence, he joined the seminary and became what TDCJ calls a Field Minister, an inmate who is trained in both theology and counseling, so that they can minister to (not proselytize) or offer guidance/support to inmates in crisis or need.
Shortly after the hype of COVID, he was sent to Polunsky Unit and began to work on Texas Death Row with another Field Minister, Terry Solley, who was also a former gang member, and has quite a remarkable story. Troup made the rounds going door-to-door introducing himself and asking if there was anything he could do for us. I think, at first, most of us were both skeptical and cynical, and we thought, why would TDCJ allow this? What are they up to? Some Death Row inmates believe they were sent there to spy on us—an extreme view that I didn’t hold, but I did wonder what they were up to. Was TDCJ actively trying to evangelize? If that was the case, I have a problem with that. But no, it wasn’t. Neither Troup nor Solley never preached to anyone, nor forced their beliefs down another’s throat. I began to speak to Troup regularly, and we became pretty close. I was moved by his dedication and service to others on Death Row. He spends 12-16 hours A DAY, every day of the week, trying to help others. Ever since my stay of execution, I have been trying to figure out how I can live a more purposeful and meaningful life. Seeing Troup in action made me realize that this was something that I wanted to do.
Troup was integral in getting the warden at the time to allow us to watch movies. I can remember a day in the fall of 2021 when he came onto our section rolling in several big screen televisions. Most of us hadn’t watched television or movies in decades. He first showed us a faith-based film called Face the Giants, about a ragtag football team that goes on to win a state championship title. Then he showed us Avatar. I never believed I’d ever get to see TV again, let along watch this movie. I got a bit emotional and weepy watching it.
Troup also played a crucial part in getting classes started on Death Row. Over the next couple of years, he, Solly, and Gary Salinas poured their blood, sweat, and tears into improving conditions on Death Row. Their dedication to all of us was really inspiring to me. All of this to say that yesterday was Troup’s birthday, and I really miss the guy.
We decided to put up a photo of Troup standing with Kevin Ramsby and his son, Noah, on the Virtual Tour of Death Row. I hope that people will check it out. Well, it’s 11:30 AM now. I have my tablet, I’ve had lunch, and it is time to jump on the phone.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope. Faith.
Peace.
Field Minister Troup with Kevin Ramsby and his son.
April 7th, 2026
Tuesday. I am sitting here at my desk listening to two inmates make cat meows and dog barks to one another. It’s making me feel really uncomfortable. I don’t know if this is some weird kinky thing going on between each other, or if they’re just both mentally ill, but it’s been going on for five minutes now. I’m literally sitting here, hand against my forehead, thinking what the heck is going on? Oh great, now it’s the moos of a cow and the baas of a sheep. Wtf?
I sure do wish I was outside right now. I can see light reflecting off of the bricks in the hallway, and it looks like it’s probably a beautiful day. I know that when I went outside yesterday it was gorgeous. Not cold, not too warm, just a beautifully perfect feeling of spring. I was very much at peace in the moment as I looked at downtown Dallas.
I wanted to say how proud I am of the newly cleaned up version of the Virtual Tour of Death Row. I highly recommend people check it out. We spent an entire evening going over the pictures, redoing the captions, and looking for new photos to add. Much credit goes out to Death2Life Prison Ministries for helping as well in this endeavor. Some of the photos were provided by them, and we hope to add more in the future. What a wonderful organization. They focus on trying to both improve the conditions for the incarcerated as well as strengthen the bonds of families, friends, and loved ones. I also wanted to suggest that people watch the videos we’ve added to this site. Please explore everything here so that you can not only learn about who I am, but also understand the life of those on Death Row. My hope is that one can see the humanity that thrives behind these walls, in spite of the horrible conditions. There is a smart and effective way to approach criminal justice. It doesn’t have to be solely retributive. Restorative justice isn’t just some trendy hippy-dippy catchphrase. There is a real science behind it. There is an understanding that one can’t just lock a person up and throw away the key. How does that solve any problems? How does that reduce recidivism or crime? Take it from a person who has been incarcerated for almost 30 years—it doesn’t. Retributive justice does not, and has not, ever worked. The belief that someone won’t commit a crime because they’re concerned about how much time they’ll receive or whether or not they’ll get the death penalty is fallacy. Not a single person that I’ve met incarcerated has ever thought in the heat of the moment, Oh wait, maybe I shouldn’t do this because I’ll get a life sentence. To the contrary, they do it in the foolish belief that they won’t be caught.
What is effective is victim reconciliation, educational, spiritual, and self-help programs, as well as an environment that is conducive to change. In prison and on Death Row we call it ‘culture change’—changing the way inmates think about their life, their surroundings, and how that affects themselves and others. This happens with 1) building a supportive community behind the walls, so that people can then take a belief in community into the world when they’re free, 2) putting an end to violence (with staff shortages and the increase of drugs and contraband, this is crucial—inmates must be the gatekeepers, and it requires inmates to intervene and encourage those with addiction problems to get help), and 3) education, whether it be intellectual or spiritual.
Texas has a long way to go, but if more people on the outside world would invest in or support these key principles, I promise you the changes would be dramatic, and there would be a decrease in crime. Something needs to happen soon, because the way the system is currently operating is not sustainable. You cannot continually give 18-year-olds life without parole sentences and not expect the system to collapse in on itself. This is something I think about a lot. The writing is on the wall, unless something changes. Restorative justice is the only viable path forward in my opinion.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope. Faith.
Peace.
April 5th, 2026
Easter Sunday. It’s been relatively peaceful. I woke up and spent a little time on the phone to get my morning started. After I hung up, lunch followed. The officer serving lunch had an extra diet tray and offered it to me, which was really considerate of him. The regular lunch tray is nothing but peanut butter and jelly, a pack of cookies, and an orange. The diet tray that he gave me was loaded with pineapple, pasta salad, carrot sticks, and two turkey bologna sandwiches. I was thinking to myself, dang, I need to see about getting on this diet tray. I had been on a kosher tray before, which, let’s be honest, wasn’t really kosher at all, and I stopped it only because the meals were so repetitive. Every single morning for breakfast I had three waffles, and nothing else. Lunch was peanut butter and jelly every single day, and while dinner wasn’t that bad, it still consisted of much of the same items over and over again. From what I’ve seen on this diet tray, it’s a much more balanced, healthier, and diverse meal. I have high blood pressure, so maybe I qualify. Either way, I was grateful, and thanked the officer for the extra meal.
Yesterday I learned that a friend from Death Row received an execution date, and that made me a little sad. We recently recovered execution protocol documents that were given to me while I was on Death Watch facing an execution date. I wanted these documents posted so people can see how clinical and dehumanizing TDCJ and the State of Texas make the process of murdering another human being (and yes, it is murder disguised as retributive justice). The condemned is consistently referred to as ‘the offender’ throughout the pages. These documents might have been briefly posted on my old website, but for whatever reason they were removed. You can find the recovered documents on the Execution Procedure page. I want people to face the harsh reality of what’s happening. I fear that the State of Texas is gearing up for a particularly murderous year.
Well, I’m about to jump back into the day. Keep safe out there.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
March 31st, 2026
Tuesday, and the last day of March. I can’t believe how fast this month has gone by. Tomorrow begins a new month, and I can only hope that it brings me to May quickly. The month of May is going to be life changing for me, and I’m so eager and excited for it to come.
So, last night I listened to a disturbing account about the events of my life, specifically from my teens. It was from some true crime podcast that recounted the story of the ‘Texas 7.’ One of the more frustrating parts of this legal process is having others interpret my life without any sort of nuance or context. I feel helpless in the lack of narrative control over events in my life. Worse, people who do these kinds of shows don’t seem to care about truth. They repeat second-hand information, hearsay, and offer their own armchair psychological analysis of the person they believe me to be. It’s a broader problem in the world of true crime.
True crime is the lowest form of entertainment there is. It’s the stuff of bottom-feeders, and yet it is a multi-billion dollar industry*—entertainment masquerading as informational justice. Do those that feed the monster that is the true crime genre understand that they are partaking in revictimization of those that were brutalized and traumatized by crime? That their participation in watching shows like Dateline or documentaries, or listening to podcasts, only lines the pockets of content creators at the expense of the victims? This isn’t anything informative or educational. It is created for the sole purpose of entertainment, and that should sicken anyone who is truly concerned about what is in the best interest of justice, for both the condemned and the victim. If content creators really believed that they are doing victims or society a service in producing these programs, then I challenge them to give all profits back to the victims.
Here is another matter that gets my gall. Those who leave ignorant, uninformed, and often sickeningly twisted comments on social media platforms in regards to a person that is either facing execution or has been executed. Talk about bottom-feeders. They leave no room for mercy, redemption, or grace. They offer no space for any intellectual debate. They are often unoriginal and lacking any sense of creativity. Instead, their comments devolve into a shouting match, or who can come up with the most ghastly, torturous way they believe the condemned should be killed. Their vile words often wish for worse than what the perpetrator was actually convicted of. You cannot be a good or decent person if you are encouraging or fantasizing about how you wish someone should suffer for their mistakes. Do you want to know who a good person is? Kevin Ramsby, a minister that is the victim of a horrible crime that brutalized him and left him for dead, after having been eviscerated and stabbed 37 times across his body. How did Kevin Ramsby respond to this heinous crime? I can tell you what he didn’t do. He didn’t jump on social media messaging boards and call for the same or worse for his victimizer. No, he chose to forgive him. He visited him in prison and told the guy, face-to-face, “I forgive you.” He then went on to create Fight to Forgive ministries, reaching out to those condemned, letting them know that, no matter what they’ve done, they are forgiven and loved by their creator.
I don’t know, I just get stirred up by the true crime industry, as well as the mock-outrage of people sitting behind a computer screen. My words won’t do anything to affect or change it. There’s no putting that genie back into the bottle. But like everyone else in the world these days, I invoke my right to speak up about it.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
*The true crime podcast market alone reached $3 billion globally in 2024, with 40% growth in weekly listeners since 2020 [link]. True Crime Consumer Report found that 84% of the U.S. population age 13+ are true crime consumers, meaning they watch or listen to true crime through any medium [link].
March 30th, 2026
It’s 9:12 PM as I write this. I’m winding down for the night after a fairly long day. Woke up about 6 AM this morning to get ready for rec, received my tablet a little after 8 AM, made a couple of calls, and then was outside at about 8:35 AM. When I went outside, it was very pleasant, and I started to exercise. After I finished my body exercises, I decided to jog a few laps around the gym. As I began to jog, I felt a sharp pain in my heel. It almost felt like stepping on a thumb tack. The pain traveled through the arch of my foot and I stopped dead in my tracks. I limped to a spot in the gym where the sun was shining, sat down and began to rub my foot, not knowing exactly what had happened. The shoes they give us are a generic foam croc. They have zero support, and I’m guessing trying to jog in those with the lack of foot support caused the pain in my foot. I sat in the sun until my time was up, and hobbled to the gym door, where the SRTs were waiting on me. The supervisor asked what was wrong with me, and I told him, “I think I pulled something in my foot.” He suggested that I put in a medical request, and I told him if I didn’t feel better tomorrow, I would do that. When I got back on the phone later, I was convinced I should go ahead and put the medical request in now. It usually takes a day or two for them to answer a medical request, and a nurse will talk to me and evaluate my situation before I can actually see a doctor. I have a feeling I’m going to get charged $10 just to be told, “Take some Tylenol and stay off your foot.” We shall see what happens. Not much else going on here today. Here’s to hoping the rest of the week is good.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
March 26th, 2026
I am starting this on an early Thursday morning. This day has started off absolutely chaotic. I woke up about 6 AM, and before I could even brush my teeth or wash my face, the guy is 83 cell across from me wanted to talk. I was barely awake! He then showed me a sealed bag of Kraft cheesy refried beans. I was so confused. He began to shake the bag and do a little dance, smiling really big. I asked him why he was showing that to me and he began to explain that it came from his girlfriend. He believed that the jail was keeping his girlfriend in another cell down the hall. According to him, his girlfriend asked the guard to pass these particular beans as a sign that she was there, because only she knew those were his favorite beans. He then began to smell the package and his eyes went wide, then he smiled big—one of those giant toothy smiles. He looked at me and said, “I can smell her on the beans.” I nodded my head as if I understood exactly what he was talking about, gave him a thumbs-up, and told him I really needed to brush my teeth. He returned the thumbs-up, walked away from the door, holding the bag to his nose.
As I began brushing my teeth, the young school shooter in another cell began to argue with his neighbor, and it devolved into a spit boxing match. I could hear other guys yelling at him, “Shut up!” It only angered the youngster even more. He began to curse and scream at the top of his lungs as if he was possessed. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, Why g-d, why? It’s just too early for this. I would’ve loved to be alone in my early morning thoughts.
Things have since settled down a bit and I believe it’s a little past 7 AM now. As I wait on my tablet, I was sitting here thinking about this current iteration of the website, and the many other iterations over the past 2 decades. I really believe that the last one was remarkable. I was always proud of it. So much credit goes to them for creating and maintaining it over such a long period of time. I was sad when it came to an end. I’ll always be grateful for the time and effort put into it, however, the new version is a bit more unique in that I’ve been able to put much more creative input into the building process. It’s easier for me to communicate via the tablet that I use in Dallas County Jail if I have a thought or idea that can be realized or even improved upon. There’s a really strong creative force behind the scenes. Currently, we’re working on two things: polishing up some old recovered memoir vignettes and getting a bunch of journals that I handwrote last year, after I first came to Dallas, ready to be posted. Once I have compiled several months’ worth, they’ll be published. I’m really happy to have a bunch of new content ready.
What is next for me this morning? I should probably take a shower as the water is really hot right now, but before I do that, I need to put some Magic Shave on my head, and I really don’t want to. Magic Shave is a hair removal cream that I use to ‘shave my head,’ but using it is such a horrible experience. It’s like rubbing battery acid into my skin. It burns like hell. While it does remove the hair quite effectively, it always leaves my head or face feeling like I suffered third-degree burns. How many faces were melted off in the process to create such a dastardly concoction? Oh, the pains we subject ourselves to in the name of vanity. I wish I wasn’t so self-conscious about being bald. Actually, scratch that. They’re passing out the tablets now. I need to look at some of my favorite pictures and spend a little time on the phone. It looks like my head will be spared for a couple more hours. Time to go get happy.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
March 24th, 2026
It’s Tuesday evening as I write this. It’s been a relatively peaceful day. Spent a little time talking to some of the youngsters around me. I’ve become sort of a mentor and big brother to these guys, and even though they can be incredibly annoying, I’ve grown fond of them. I’m trying to prepare them on what to expect should they receive lengthy prison sentences, but most importantly I want them to hold on to hope, and I assure them that even though they may do a considerable amount of time, they can still have a meaningful life. They can do easy time or hard time—it’s up to them. I wish I had someone who could’ve guided me when I was in my early 20s.
Yesterday I was able to go outside. It was quite beautiful. It was a warm spring day and I found a spot in the gym where the sun was shining through the chain link fence and I sat down and soaked up the sun, meditated and did some exercises. I really needed that, and I hope I can get it again tomorrow.
I’ve been hearing good things about this new website, and I’m really grateful for the time spent building it. It means the world to me to have someone believe in my writings and content, but I’ve been most excited that we were able to recover photos of me that I believed were long gone. It’s interesting to see myself in various stages of my life over the past two and a half decades. I don’t seem to have aged very much, or at least that’s what I’ve been told. This new site is incredible, but I also want to thank all the people that have helped me over the years in keeping this project going. Without them, my writings would have been long gone, so thank you.
Found out my next hearing is April 23rd. I have no idea what will come from it. We shall see. Not much else to write about right now. Hope everyone is keeping safe.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
March 20th, 2026
Woke up this morning about 6:30 AM. Got scheduled for rec, which I was really looking forward to because it was supposed to be 92 degrees today—summer in March. It would’ve been nice to have gotten some sun and felt the warm air on my skin, but it wasn’t meant to be. In the middle of one of my morning phone calls I was told by the recreation officer that he wouldn’t be able to get me out to rec because I had a legal visit. I thought it might be my mitigation expert because she tends to show up around 8 in morning. The SRTs came to get me around 9:30 AM. They took me to a legal booth, and when I entered there was a man I had never seen before. He introduced himself as one of the psychologists who would be involved in my psychological evaluation, which is required for any death penalty case. He told me his goal was to assess my future threat of dangerousness and told me he wanted to cover my entire life. We talked for about 4 hours and then he passed me a personality test. I spent about 30 minutes answering the questions in the test, returned it to him, and then we talked for another 30 minutes, when he told me he had to get going. He did mention to me that 25 years without a single violent incident spoke volumes. I sat in the legal booth for another 30 minutes waiting for the SRTs to come pick me up and take me back to my cell. I got back to my cell and was very, very hungry, having missed lunch. Fortunately for me, the first shift officer had put my lunch sack on my desk. I made another phone call and wolfed down a bologna sandwich. Not the greatest of meals, but it gets the job done.
The other night, I reworked an old screenplay of a short film idea I had called Guilty by Association. We posted it and I hope people will check it out. It’s under a new section titled Creative Works, in which I hope to post new material over time. It was more of just a writing exercise, as it is a goal of mine to write a proper screenplay, for which I have many ideas. I’ve been working on some new poetry. I want to wait till I have a few ready to go before I post them, but sometime in the immediate future they will be there to read. It feels good to have a bit of my creativity returned and being in the jail for over a year had kind of stunted my imagination. But suddenly it feels revived and alive, and I’m going to take full advantage of it.
It’s Friday evening now, and I’m getting ready to settle into The Weeknd concert at SoFi Stadium. I’m going to kick back and listen to it and I’ve recently been turned onto The Weeknd outside of his pop hits on the radio, and I’m liking what I’m hearing so far. It should be fun. Hope everyone has a safe and peaceful weekend.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
March 18th, 2026
Woke up this morning, thought I slept through getting scheduled for rec, but fortunately the officer during recreation knows that I never like to miss a day, so he went ahead and scheduled me even though I was asleep. Went outside a little after 9 AM. I was actually making a phone call when the SRTs came to get me. One more thing they do now is put leg shackles on any inmate that requires an SRT escort. The reason behind this is because the jail has a new chief, and he needs to make the job of the SRTs more difficult—and that’s not me saying that, it’s many of the SRTs who have said that. They feel that as long as an inmate isn’t acting up, or has no record of acting out, there’s no reason they should be in leg shackles. But the chief insists, so they put leg shackles on me just to walk me 20 ft. away to the gym. Waste of time and resources if you ask me. But I’m just an inmate, what do I know?
When I got outside, they removed the leg shackles so that I could walk around freely. It was a beautiful morning, a bit chillier than I expected, but the sky was clear and the sun was rising above the skyscrapers of downtown Dallas. I could hear birds chirping and the trees were in full bloom, so spring is clearly almost here. I walked around and just thought to myself, and after a little over an hour it was time to come back in. The SRTs brought me back to my cell and once they were gone I checked my tablet for messages and had received a message from the wife of a close family friend, Mrs. S. She gave me the heartbreaking news that her husband, Mr. S, had passed away. I’ve known their family since I was 5 and a half years old. They’re the only ones from my past who have remained consistently a part of my life. I dated their daughter when I was in junior high, and Mr. S was one of my favorite teachers when I was studying for my bar mitzvah. Mr. S was such a kind and warm human being. When I was a kid, he worked at Topps baseball card company, and he had invited me to come along for the tour to see how baseball cards were made. When I was 17 and my life was falling apart after I came back from Kentucky, after my parents rejected me, he invited me into his home without hesitation. I have a lot of fond memories of him. One in particular was after a Hebrew study session. My father was with us and they both began to discuss how great it would be if I dated his daughter. It felt a bit awkward, even more so because I was with a girl named Shoshana at the time. But Mr. S insisted that his daughter and I would make the perfect couple. Oddly enough, later that year I would end up dating his daughter. I look back on my moments with Mr. S and remember him so fondly. I hope he is resting at peace and that his family will be able to get through this difficult time.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
March 17th, 2026
**This entry contains foul language that reflects a real-life incident.
Tuesday afternoon I’m sitting here on shift change. I’ve been thinking about my hearing last Friday and what will happen going forward. If anyone is interested in following updates on my case, they can find links to news clips in Case Updates. I really can’t go into detail about my case currently, so hoping these links will help people follow along.
Since I’ve been in jail for over a year now, 83 cell—the cell directly across from mine—has been a revolving door for mentally ill people. The latest guy to move into that cell is clearly another one of these people. He has been on a never-ending rant, yelling to anyone who will listen, guard or inmate, about how he has been kidnapped, framed, and wrongfully incarcerated.
When I tried to talk to him to calm him down, he said, “Why would I talk to you? You’ve been put in that cell to spy on me.”
I said, “But I was in this cell before you. How could I have been put in this cell to spy on you when I was here before you?”
He replied, “See, that’s what you want me to think, but the truth is, I’ve been here all along, you just didn’t see me.”
“Are you a ghost?” I replied.
“No, man. I ain’t no ghost. I’m a motherf*cking poltergeist.”
“Aren’t those the same?” I asked.
“No, they ain’t the same, you dumb motherf*cker. Ghosts can’t manipulate his surroundings, poltergeists can. If I want to, I can extend my arm all the way into your cell and choke the sh*t out yo’ ass.”
I stared at him for a second, nodding my head, and said, “I don’t want you to do that. I’m trying to live.”
To which he replied, “Then stop spying on me.”
I promised to him that I was not spying on him, but I was concerned about his well-being. He told me that if I cared so much, I could pay for his bond to get him free. I told him I wouldn’t even know how to do that. He looked at me, flipped me off, and said, “That leaves us at an impasse. I ain’t got nothing to say to you,” and walked away from the door.
Last night, as I was trying to sleep, he started yelling in the middle of the night about being kidnapped. Thankfully, it didn’t last very long, and I was able to get to sleep shortly after. This is what I’ve been dealing with for over a year. I don’t even know how I still have my own sanity. It seems lately that I’ve been dealing with a lot more stress and pressure surrounding personal events in my life, but I cling onto the things that make me happy, and that helps me to retain focus and determination.
Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to get outside. It’s supposed to be warm and sunny. I really need some fresh air and quiet space to focus my thoughts.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
March 8th, 2026
I’m back. After a couple of months of confusion and uncertainty of what was going to happen to my website and the old domain name eventually shutting down at the end of February, I am fortunate to have a completely new website that hopefully will be bigger and better than before. I’m really sorry for the disruption to those that have followed this for so long and have so kindly showed interest in my life, but hopefully that was the last disruption for a long time to come. I’m very grateful to have this opportunity again to share in what I hope is the next chapter of my life.
It has been an interesting week to say the least, and once again it seems that my legal matters have been suddenly thrown into complete chaos. Dallas County had the primaries on Tuesday, March 3rd, and the incumbent District Attorney John Creuzot was challenged by former Democratic judge Amber Givens. No one believed that Amber Givens had a snowball’s chance in hell of defeating Creuzot. Creuzot was well established and admired by the legal community, as well as the Democratic machinery. He outspent her by $400,000, had the endorsement of Dallas Morning News, and other Democrat heavyweights in Texas. However, Amber Givens shocked everyone in defeating him, winning by more than 40,000 votes. There is no Republican challenger, making Amber Givens district attorney-elect. How does this affect me? District Attorney John Creuzot is currently seeking the death penalty against me. My trial is scheduled for April of 2027. This will put my trial under a completely new administration, so the question now is, will District Attorney-elect Amber Givens continue to pursue the death penalty? I don’t know her stance on the death penalty, as she has been a little bit vague concerning this issue. Another question I have is, now that DA John Creuzot has lost his election bid, does this remove any political pressure that he had to seek the death penalty against me? Will he be willing to drop the death penalty and offer a plea deal? I just don’t know, but these are the thoughts swirling around my head. I have a hearing on Friday, March 13th, and I’m hoping to ask these questions to my attorneys. Hopefully, they can provide some comfort, or clarity to these questions.
In other news, I have unexpectedly fallen in love. Getting involved with someone was the last thing I was looking for or expecting. My thoughts have been consumed with focusing on preparing for a new trial, and for what I hope will be the next chapter of my life. I plan on keeping this relationship private.
That’s it for now. I’m warming back up and getting back into these journals. I hope to do this more frequently. For those that have been on this crazy ride that is my life throughout all these years, thank you for sticking with me and for your patience.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.