July 17th, 2026
I must have woken up much earlier than I thought I did. Lately I’ve been trying to sleep in till about 8 AM because I’ve not been able to get to sleep due to all the noise, but last night was one of those rare quiet nights and I fell asleep with ease. My eyes shot open and I felt rested, so I got out of bed and started my morning, thinking it was around 8 AM. But it turns out it was actually shift change, and very early, and so I waited for the next 2 hours for my blood pressure medicine and tablet, and recreation.
Well, the past few days have been a continuance of the nonstop craziness that has persisted for the past few weeks. There are some small signs that things are leveling out, but with the way things have gone, I’m half expecting it to all go screwy again. So, first, a James update. For those who need a recap, James Indy is a beautiful Labrador Husky mix rescued from Dallas Animal Services. He was hours away from being euthanized when we stepped in to save him. He is quite possibly one of the sweetest, most loving dogs we have ever met, however due to the extreme abuse he has suffered, he has a lot of trauma and high levels of anxiety. In just two weeks alone, he has made considerable progress and is even showing an interest in venturing outside on his own, something that was an impossibility just a week ago. He does the cutest little dance and spin to indicate he wants to go outside. He now also wants to be near you at all times—sleeping beside you, following you into the bathroom, lying at your feet. It’s adorable. However, he will not go potty outside. He will indicate that he needs to go, but once you take him outside for a potty, he just won’t go. People have suggested the tough love dominant approach to “train him,” or show him who’s boss, but that is the wrong way to go about it with this dog. Why subject him to more trauma? He’s frightened enough as it is.
The apartment complex is also a problem. It just isn’t a safe environment. It’s all concrete, loud people, dirty, and there is only one patch of grass littered with trash and glass, weeds with burrs, and in general it is just not safe for a dog. James has gone to the bathroom a bunch of times inside, which hasn’t been fun. The good news is we have been approved for a new upscale apartment that is pet friendly. There is a patio, and access to a safe grassy courtyard for him. We temporarily put James into a doggie hotel for a few days while the move is made, and then we will see how he handles the new environment. He deserves a chance, and hopefully this place will be a bit better for him. We’ll post some more cute photos of James at the end of this journal.
On Monday I was supposed to have a court hearing. The SRTs took me to court, and I sat in a small, dirty holding cell for 2 hours, only to be told that the hearing had been rescheduled for the 16th, but that hearing ended up being rescheduled for August 14th.
The past few days have been spent helping to prepare for the move to a nicer area in Dallas. The move-in date is on Saturday, so we’ll be spending time going back and forth from apartments, with the big furniture being moved on Monday. There’s still so much to do to finally settle in, but the hope is to have everything in place and doggy-proofed by the end of the week when James is picked back up. Let me tell you, this new place is nice. It’s like moving from the hood to a resort. It’ll be so much better. Surprisingly, the place isn’t horribly priced, and they’re having a special 2-month free move-in. Today I’ll be lending my moral support and love as we continue to pack. Can’t wait to see how everything goes. I’m gonna jump on the phone, talk to my baby for a bit, and hopefully make it outside.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
July 9th, 2026
I’m so sorry we have not been able to post any recent journals. It has been an insane past week. Murphy’s Law states if anything can go wrong, it will go wrong, and boy has it been going wrong. Okay, to catch you up to speed, Sunday was the day that James Indy Halprin came home. So much had been happening over the past few days prior, and there was the hope that the apartment would be in order for his big arrival, but alas it was not to be. Why, you ask? Well, before the big move to Dallas, we had found a package receiving and moving company. Items were ordered and shipped to this company, and they have been very kind and accommodating, but I think a little in over their heads and overwhelmed. I don’t know if they’re a start-up company or just haven’t figured things out, but their prices for holding and delivering items was just too good to pass up. One of the items, the daybed, was to be pre-assembled and delivered to the apartment. That turned into a debacle, and in the end the bed was apparently so horribly built that the company offered to replace the bed at no cost and waive the delivery fees of everything else. That was incredibly gracious of them, but it still left the apartment in a state of incompletion because the bed was central to the arrangement of all the other furniture. Another huge problem was that the apartment leasing office misrepresented the floor plan of the apartment that we believed was being rented. This threw a monkey wrench into everything, as the furniture that was purchased was specifically for the floor plan we believed we were getting. On top of that, the Spectrum internet service that was subscribed to didn’t work either. So, a technician had to come in on Monday to troubleshoot. Oh, but it doesn’t end there. The air conditioning died in the apartment, her car wasn’t delivered on time, and when the car DID get delivered, the car was parked out in the front at 4 AM in the morning with the doors unlocked and the car keys literally thrown in on the floorboard, so anyone that looked into the car could have easily seen the keys and stolen the car.
As far as the furniture is concerned, while not ideal, it actually has turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because a different bed set has been picked out, and this one is going to allow for a much better living space configuration. We’ve also decided that this apartment and the area that the complex is in is just not suitable to live in. It’s not suitable for James, it’s not a very safe place, and so we are in the process of applying for another apartment that is much more dog-friendly and safer.
Sunday we picked up James, and here’s what I’ve been told about him. He’s very loving, very affectionate, and an extremely mellow dog. There’s not a hint of aggression; he doesn’t even bark. However, due to extreme trauma and abuse that he has suffered, he’s very timid and frightens easily. He can sometimes be too afraid to step outside the apartment and go potty, which has led to several messes on the floor. But fortunately, he’s being loved and cared for by the most loving and patient woman I know. It has been very stressful, and there have been some tears shed, but I firmly believe he is right where he needs to be. It’s gonna take a lot of patience and love for him to regain his confidence, and for him to know that he’s in a safe place, but it’s very doable. He is always exploring, and he’s just so damn sweet. I know I’m not actually there for all of this, but the little fella is a part of me. A member of my family. We’re going to include some recent photos of him to share with the world. This story is to be continued.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
July 5th, 2026
Been so busy—have not had time to post some journals. Still trying to get the apartment together, so that’s taking priority, but an even bigger priority is our dog, James, is finally home. We’ll write about him at length tomorrow. He’s an incredibly handsome dog, so sweet, very loving, but he’s easily frightened, so it’s going to take some time and patience with him to get him to where he’s comfortable and confident. We’ll share some pictures of him. Keep safe out there.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
July 4th, 2026
Happy 4th of July! Sorry I’ve been absent for the past few days. I do have a couple of journal entries to post; we’ve just been really busy setting up a new apartment and preparing everything for James Indy’s arrival on Sunday. Because he has been diagnosed with heartworms, he unfortunately has to be crated 4-6 weeks, so we’ve been building a massive crate so that he’s nice and comfy. Promise to post the prior journals soon when everything settles down, maybe in the next couple of days. Just didn’t want people to think I went MIA.
Have a good Independence Day. I came to this conclusion many years ago: freedom is an inside job.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
July 2nd, 2026
Thursday morning. It’s 7:38 AM, and I’m up earlier than I wanna be. Last night was not an easy night of sleep. There was a lot of noise and banging, but surprisingly none of it came from the kid.
Yesterday was a bit stressful with different things going on with the new apartment, but I think in the end it’ll all work out. I’m focused on today. I’m going to do my best to help, advise, organize, and get the new place ready for James. Today the movers are expected to come, and everything has to be arranged in the most efficient way possible, in the least amount of space. Fortunately, I was a master at Tetris, so as long as I can visualize the space I’m pretty sure we can figure it out. I have some pictures to look at and study, so that should help. I’m beginning to see the possibility of an arrangement, but it really depends on how much space the furniture is going to take up in her apartment. I just want the place to look cozy.
Alright. I think I’m going to pace my cell for an hour. It’ll help me think.
Eureka! I think I’ve figured it out. The way that I’m envisioning it, the desk will be pushed into the far end of the wall; the daybed with additional attached desk will be pushed to the L-shaped computer desk, creating an office area. That’ll work quite well, but it does put the daybed center of the room. Not great, but it does work. Hmmmm. I don’t know. We’ll see how it all goes. Stay tuned.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
June 30th, 2026
Tuesday, and the last day of June. Man, this summer is already racing by. What’s even crazier to think about is how I’ve been here in Dallas County Jail for almost a year and a half.
I’m feeling okay this morning in spite of the fact that last night was one of those crazy, chaotic nights, brought to us all courtesy of the kid. He was really testing everyone’s patience. He decided that he was gonna act like a terrorist and told everyone that he going to bang and scream all night long unless I specifically apologized to him for an apparent slight. When I asked him what I had done, he said he’d been calling my name while I was on the phone, and I ignored him. I told him that if I didn’t answer him, it meant that I didn’t hear him. He said that was bs and commenced banging and screaming. A minute later he stopped and said, “This is all night long unless you apologize.” I told him that I didn’t negotiate with terrorists, so I guess we’re gonna stay up all night long. He went back to banging and screaming. This went on until after 1 AM. Other guys around me were begging me to apologize. “Apologize for what?” I said. “I told him I was on the phone and didn’t hear him. I don’t purposefully ignore people. Let him bang and scream. He’s just proving to everyone he is the child he says he isn’t.”
“F*ck you, Randy. I heard that,” the kid said.
“Okay, I’m glad you did. You’re not just disrespecting me, you’re disrespecting everyone around you. I don’t know why you’re in your feelings tonight. You want to be civil and tell me what’s going on, or what’s bothering you, I’ll listen and try to help you. But if you want to keep acting like a child, I really am going to ignore you. Losing sleep isn’t going to make or break me. Have fun banging and screaming,” I said.
He did stop after that but never told me what was on his mind or why he was really upset.
In doggie news, James is scheduled to be picked up on Sunday, which only gives us a couple days to prepare. It’s both daunting and exciting. He was neutered yesterday and had his first heartworm treatment. We did some research on that over the weekend, and apparently he has to be on crate rest 4-6 weeks, which really sucks for him. We’re going to try to make it as comfortable for him as possible. The next couple days are going to be spent getting the new apartment ready before he arrives. The move to Dallas is tomorrow, and the furniture, etc., arrives on Thursday. It’s an exciting time.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
June 27th, 2026
Saturday morning. I woke up not long ago and I’m getting my morning started. The past few nights have been surprisingly peaceful and quiet, so I’ve been able to sleep very well.
Yesterday I went outside, and then around 1 PM I had a legal visit and talked with my attorney for about 45 minutes. It was a good visit, and there seems to be some positive things happening. We also spent some time talking about concerns from my first trial, but overall I’d say there’s reasons for cautious optimism. One day at a time. That’s all we can do.
Today is going to be a high suspense kind of day, as we are still trying to rescue a dog. The first dog we set eyes upon was thankfully rescued and adopted yesterday by someone else. We would’ve liked to have gotten him, but all that matters is that someone did. He’s going to have what I hope is a long life. In light of that, our attention has turned to a very handsome Labrador mix named James. He seems to be a bit shy and timid, but we believe, if we can get him, he can build his confidence up and shower him with love. He’s scheduled to be euthanized tomorrow, so it’s getting down to the wire. The problem has been that since yesterday the shelter has not been very communicative. We tried calling and emailing, but there has been no response from them. Hopefully, today will be different. We’ve got to save this guy’s life. We shall see what happens. I pray it’s a good day. Although all seems to be okay around here, I’m looking forward to the new week and new month.
Doggie update. We got him! The shelter approved our application for James, and we will pick him up on July 4th, Independence Day. A befitting time for a dog whose life has been spared and will gain his own independence. I am so relieved and happy. We were really stressed and worried about him, as his scheduled euthanasia was for 11 AM tomorrow. Looks like G-d had other plans for him. He couldn’t have found a more welcome and loving family. Yeah, there’s some work ahead to acclimate him and build his confidence up, but we’re up to the task. We’ll add some photos of the little guy at the end of this journal.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
Introducing…
James Indy Halprin
Photos courtesy of Dallas Animal Services. Please adopt! DFW shelters are experiencing severe overcrowding. Read more.
Adopt here: https://bedallas90.org
DAS does adopt out-of-state!
June 25th, 2026
Thursday. It was a quiet night…thank goodness. I woke up a few times in the middle of the night feeling a bit restless. I think mostly because we spent the evening trying to save a dog’s life. This particular dog is scheduled to be euthanized this coming Sunday at a kill shelter because no one will take him, and that’s heartbreaking. We have until that Sunday to save his life, but the problem is no one can be in Dallas to pick him up until July 2nd. So went sent an email to the shelter to see if they’d be willing to hold the little fella until he can be picked up. We’re going to adopt him. Alternatively, if the shelter says they can’t do that, we’ve sent out a bunch of emails to foster volunteers and rescuers to see if they’d be willing to pick him up and hold him until the 2nd. Hopefully, there’s a solution that can be found and we’ll get some positive feedback today. Our heart is breaking at the thought that this sweet and adorable doggie might lose his life for no other reason than nobody wants him. He looks to be a mixed breed—of what, the shelter doesn’t know.
Okay, update. We were unsuccessful in any foster homes or rescuers, which was disappointing, but we filed for adoption anyways and then found a service that will hold the dog until he can be picked up. But because the shelter is first-come, first-served, they informed us that another person has shown interest in the dog, and if they don’t adopt the dog tomorrow the shelter will allow us to get him. However, all is not lost. There is another adorable dog scheduled to be euthanized, so if we cannot get the first dog, we are intent on saving this dog’s life. Either way, it seems like one of these little guy’s lives has been spared, thank G-d. I don’t know, this one really hit close to home because I was so close to my own execution. Knowing that these dogs could be killed was really breaking my heart. There’s a saying in Judaism: Save a life, save a world. And I don’t know why this can’t apply to animals, as well.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
June 23rd, 2026
Tuesday. Sunday night was a complete nightmare. I was in bed shortly after midnight and I had just fallen asleep when I was awakened by my neighbor making the strangest sounds. I lay in bed, eyes open, hoping that the noise would soon subside, but it only grew in intensity and volume. Soon other guys began yelling and cursing at him, which didn’t help the situation at all. In fact, it was quite the opposite. He began to growl, bark like a dog, and laugh. The laugh was a very high-pitched witch’s cackle. Then he began to bang on the walls and kick on the door.
A couple of officers came over to see what the commotion was all about, and told the guy that if he didn’t stop, they were going to send him to crisis. Crisis really isn’t treatment, it’s just a holding cell where they try to calm and inmate down, and then they send him right back, no mental help whatsoever. He quieted for a few minutes and so I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking the madness was over, only to have the reprieve disrupted minutes later when he started up again. At around 3 AM, a group of nurses and SRTs came to his door to talk to him. When he responded, it was in tongues. Complete gibberish. The nurses directed the SRTs to remove him from his cell, and off he went to crisis. I don’t know how long he’ll be gone for, or if he’ll even be back. Who knows what will happen. Surely, after that, I thought the madness was over. But nope. Shortly after, another inmate started screaming. They ended up sending him to crisis as well, and I was able to get to sleep around 4 AM. I woke back up around 8:40 AM to get ready for recreation. By the time I came back in, I was exhausted. I dragged my butt all day yesterday but thank G-d the floor was quiet the rest of the night. I have no idea what time it is now, but at least I slept well. I’m looking forward to the day. I have a video visit scheduled for 1:45 PM. I cannot wait for that. Well, on with the day, I suppose.
It’s Wednesday now, and last night was another crazy night. Around 10 PM or so, they ended up bringing back the mentally ill guys from crisis. But instead of going back to their assigned cells, one of them was reassigned to the front side of cells, which is worse because when anyone makes any noise on the front side the sound goes directly into my cell. They typically like to keep quiet people on the front side, because the officers have to deal with all the noise, and they don’t like that. I made the comment that he wouldn’t last long in that cell because he makes too much noise. Well, as if on cue, not long after I said that he began to make animal noises and yell. I took a deep breath and thought, well, it’s gonna be a long night. Around midnight, he began to yell louder, and directly into the vents. My Venezuelan neighbor happens to be directly across from him, sharing the same vent. These vents are open and you can talk/see the person across from you, and so as the guy began to yell, the Venezuelan squirted him with a shampoo bottle of piss, straight into his face. The guy screamed and ran to his door yelling, “Get me out of here!! Get me out of here!” until they finally took him away. The kid thought it was hilarious. He was excited and began recounting the story to anyone who would listen until about 2 AM, when it finally quieted down. I managed to fall asleep shortly after and slept all the way until 8 AM. I feel okay, and as I write this, I’m just waiting to go outside.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace…
Dallas County Jail phone call showing what Randy describes in his journal entries regarding mental illness.
June 21st, 2026
Sunday. I had wanted to sleep in because it was a late night last night, but they moved the mentally ill guy that had gone to suicide watch back into the cell next to me. At breakfast time he began to make weird noises and did some banging, which kept me up. But after about 30 minutes he settled down and I managed to fall back to sleep. I had been sleeping really good, when sometime after 7:30 AM the kid started calling my name, pulling me out of a deep sleep. I asked him what he wanted and he told me to turn on my shower to help him warm up the water in his shower. I lay there thinking, really? And I’ve been up ever since. The rec officer is working overtime, and he told me that he’d make sure to schedule me tomorrow so that I can sleep in a bit. That was incredibly nice of him.
So, the past few nights we’ve been going through my old journals, as I hadn’t read them in years. I wanted to see where my mind was at the time, and what I remembered from those days. It’s interesting what time will do to your thoughts. Right now, I’m on January 2006, and I’m struggling with the break-up of my first wife. The distance of time had me saying that it didn’t affect me all that much and believing that I didn’t care. But in re-reading the words from that specific period in my life, I was clearly struggling emotionally. I was trying to also figure out what I felt about love, the idea of soulmates, etc. Looking back now, with the passage of time and reflection, I think I was just afraid to be alone going forward, a pervasive theme that has pretty much dictated how I’ve operated in past relationships, and with what I was willing to tolerate. It’s true, I don’t want to be alone, but it’s more than that, as well. It has always been about hoping, wishing, praying that I find that one person who didn’t think proximity or physicality (while both important) were the end-all, be-all to a relationship, but instead a deep, soul-level connection of emotionality is what the most important thing is. How many couples have both physicality and proximity, living in the same space 24/7, and they are freaking miserable? What does any of that mean if you don’t truly love the other person? What does any of that mean if you don’t trust your partner enough to be open and vulnerable emotionally? I’m equally guilty of not being open completely in my vulnerability in past relationships. I protect my heart and soul just as much as anyone else, because for so long, I’ve allowed my fears of dying alone to dictate how I operate within the boundaries of a relationship, to the point of self-sabotage, or even allowing my fears to become self-fulfilled prophesy. It’s hard to trust completely when everyone you have ever loved in your life, when the very people that take on the commitment to take care of you and protect you, then turn around and abandon you. For years I had a reoccurring nightmare in which my biological parents took me to an alligator farm only to turn around and throw me to the alligators, so that the beast could feed off of me. But through all of that, through all of the pain, the fear, the mistakes, the failed attempts at love, I still refused to give up on it. And I’m at a point in my life where I have someone I can trust completely. No longer will I allow my fear to control or dictate how I operate within the confines of love. I believe. I finally believe.
It’s going to be interesting to read more of my journals from the past. I think it’s healthy to take stock of your life at various stages to see where you’ve been, where you are, and where you are going.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
June 18th, 2026
Thursday and I’m sitting here snacking on some Jalapeno Pretzel Pieces. I swear, these things are one of mankind’s greatest inventions. They need to put a bag of these in a museum alongside the wheel.
Last night was interesting. Around 11 PM the mentally ill guy in the cell next to me was moved. I wasn’t really sure why, so when the officer picked up our tablets for the night I asked where he went. The officer told me that he was sent to suicide watch. I don’t know how all of that transpired, because I didn’t hear a peep from him. Around midnight, a bunch of noise kicked up, and I was certain I wouldn’t be getting much sleep. The kid was rapping some Christian rap very loudly and came to the door saying how he was trying to live more godly. He’s done this before, and then he goes right back to his old ways, so I paid it little attention. Though I hope one day it would be true. My other neighbor, a Venezuelan guy was annoyed, and said, “Tracy, shut up!” The kid responded, “See? When I try to do right, the devil is always trying to pull me back in. I’ve gotta get outta here! I’m going to suicide watch.” That caught my ear, and so I spoke up and said, “Whoa Tracy, are you serious? Why?” He started saying that even though he’s not suicidal, when he returns back to the floor he might end up in a different cell. He wanted to be moved away from the negativity. He sounded very serious, and then we heard him tell the floor officer he was suicidal, and so off he went to suicide watch. That should last up to 24 hours, and then he’ll be moved back to his old cell, or he could end up in the cell next to me. We shall see what happens. After all of that, things settled down, and I was able to get to sleep and slept fairly well. I suppose I’ll get the day started.
It’s Friday now. Juneteenth. The jail seems to be operating as if it’s not a holiday.
The rest of yesterday was nice and peaceful. I was able to get to sleep a little after midnight, but sometime in the middle of the night there was an explosion of noise. For a second I thought I might be dreaming, but no. The kid was back from suicide watch and letting everyone know it. Well, we had a nice 24-hour reprieve, anyways. He did manage to settle down, thank G-d, and I fell back to sleep quickly.
Woke up at 6:30 AM, but the rec officer told me recreation had been canceled because there was lightning outside. I decided to crawl back into bed, and I’m glad that I did. Should be a nice day for me. I have a video visit scheduled for 1:45 PM. I’m looking forward to that, because I won’t be getting visits at the jail again until July.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace…
June 16th, 2026
Tuesday. Two nights in a row that I’ve gotten barely any sleep. Sunday night was loud and rowdy, mostly because the kid was wired up. That lasted until about 2 AM, and then I had to get back up for recreation at 6:30 AM. Some might ask, why go to rec if you can sleep in? Especially if you need the sleep. Well, it’s one of my few opportunities to get outside of my cell, walk around, breathe fresh air, and get a break from this place. Recreation is a necessity. Anyways, not long after rec I had a surprise contact visit with my mitigation expert. It was nice. It’s so much better to be able to sit across from someone without the glass separating one another. I didn’t get back to my cell until the afternoon. Oh, I forgot to mention that the entire tablet system crashed as well, so that was a lot of fun. It didn’t come back on until it was almost time to turn the tablets in. During that period of being without the tablets, the floor erupted into noise and chaos but settled back down when the system went back on. It remained quiet until midnight, and I thought to myself, oh wow, I’m actually going to get a good night’s sleep. I was in bed shortly after midnight and dozed off for maybe 10 minutes when a piercing screech woke me up and my new neighbor, another guy who is severely mentally ill, began to clap, sing, and laugh like a hyena. I lay there thinking, why G-d, why? It carried on well past breakfast. I managed to sleep for about 2 hours before waking back up at 7 AM because the kid is now being loud. Not a peaceful morning, but what can I do? I’m sure for some it would send them into a rage, and they would lash out at everyone around them, and it might even be justified because of sleep deprivation. All I can do is choose my response. And I choose to deal with it. As guys in jail routinely say, ‘this ain’t the Hilton,’ and no, it is not. Still, I guess I can hope for a modicum of respect for myself and others who would like to have a decent night of sleep. I don’t think that’s asking for too much, but what do I know?
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope. Faith.
Peace.
June 12th, 2026
Friday. I feel like I’ve been hit by an 18-wheeler. I knew that the quiet bliss of Wednesday night would not be repeated. I even told a neighbor earlier that day, “Last night was the quiet before the storm. Just you watch. It’ll be chaos tonight.” And chaos is exactly what we got.
Everything erupted just as the officer was picking up our tablets for the night. The kid began yelling and trying to antagonize a mentally ill guy they recently moved next to me. We’ve had this guy in the neighborhood before, and when he gets going, he’s a menace. I told the kid, “Please don’t get him going.” And another neighbor asked the kid the same thing. Boy, was that a mistake. The kid began to yell and cuss at us, feeling singled out. I told him, “Yeah, we are singling you out because you’re the #1 instigator back here. You act like a child. We politely asked you not to get this guy going. That’s all. If you want people to respect you and treat you like a man, you have to act like a man, not the 18-year-old that you are, and you need to learn to give others respect.” Soon other guys jumped into the conversation, and it turned into a counseling session about respect, and guys that felt slighted by others. Because I’m the oldest back here, and I often give advice on various things, I ended up with the job of being the mediator. This went well past 2 AM. At the end of it all, when everybody’s feelings were out in the open, I suggested we all apologize to one another, hit the reset button, and call it a night. We should wake up to a new day, new beginning, where everyone respects one another and is mindful of each other’s boundaries. The constant noise was another issue for some, including myself. I asked the kid to be mindful that others are sleeping, or on the phone. He said he’d try, which was progress. I don’t have my hopes up too high, but we’ll see what happens.
I think I fell asleep shortly before breakfast. Woke back up before 6:30 AM to get scheduled for recreation. Went back to sleep until getting up around 7:30 AM. At that point, I decided to just get up and start the day. I’m going to be dragging my butt all day off of 4 hours of sleep, but I’ll manage I suppose. Now I’m just sitting here at my desk, waiting on my tablet and recreation. We’ll see how the rest of the day goes.
It’s Saturday now, and I woke up about 20 minutes ago. Even though yesterday afternoon the kid went right back into his old behavior, disregarding everything he agreed to, I managed a much better night of sleep. Thank goodness. I had a bunch of weird dreams, but that didn’t affect my sleep any. In one dream in particular, I was around a bunch of guys I knew from Death Row that had been executed. The dream in and of itself was actually quite pleasant, but thinking about it now makes me sad. So many guys gone. In the dream, I was posing for pictures with guys and talking to them.
Yesterday was a good day. I made it outside and came back in hot and sweaty. Had lunch and then spent the rest of my day making calls. In the evening, I listened to the movie The Town, which I’ve seen before, but it’s a good enough movie for multiple viewings.
It’s getting close to noon now. I’m about to jump on the phone. And that is where I plan to spend the rest of the day.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
June 11th, 2026
Thursday morning. I woke up a little after 6:30 AM confused and feeling a bit disoriented. I guess I was sleeping so hard the abruptness of waking up out of a dead sleep had me feeling like, whoa, where am I? Reality soon caught up with me, and I knew that, sadly, I was still in jail. I got out of bed, cleaned my cell (you’d be shocked to see how much dirt and dust and G-d knows what else collects on the floor overnight), brushed my teeth, and exercised for an hour. Last night was pure peaceful bliss, and I’m grateful for that. Probably one of the quietest nights on the floor that I’ve had since being back in Dallas County Jail. Last night I even commented on a call about how quiet it was that night. The night before was quite the opposite. Loud, chaotic, and annoying. It all peaked when the SRTs went into someone’s cell shortly after midnight. An inmate had covered his door windows with toilet paper to keep the guy in the cell across from him from watching him. The SRTs opened his door to remove the toilet paper. Well, apparently, the guy was asleep, and being naturally startled he jumped out of bed, and when he did that the SRTs slammed him on the ground and I could hear them punching him as he screamed, “Why are ya’ll doing this to me?” One of the SRTs was standing outside of the door, and so I spoke up and said, “Ya’ll don’t think that’s a bit excessive?” The SRT looked at me and then turned his head away. Things like that always bother me. How does a group of 4-5 big men justify beating up on one person? A little guy, at that. Simply because he was startled out of his sleep. Are there times when force is necessary or justified in a jail or prison? Sure. But this wasn’t one of them.
I went outside yesterday, and it was pretty warm but really nice. Tomorrow, which will be my next opportunity to get outside, is expected to be 95 degrees F. So, what is today’s agenda? Fairly simple, I think. Get some messages out and talk on the phone, and that’s pretty much it.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
June 5th, 2026
Friday morning. It has to be a little past 8 AM. I’ve been up for about an hour or so, and I’m hoping I can get out to recreation. I slept decently, but honestly another hour of sleep would’ve been nice. I feel a little bit sluggish, but maybe I can shake that off.
Yesterday was a long day, but a good day. In the evening I had a visit, and at first the guards tried to put me in a visitation booth that had a metal grate over the window, making it very hard to see through. I asked the sergeant why I was going into that particular booth because generally it’s reserved for people with behavior problems. He shrugged his shoulders and said it was the only booth available. Another guard spoke up and said, “There is an available booth in number 5.” I asked if I can go to that one instead, and he looked uncertain. I said, “Please, sir. I want to be able to see my visitor.” He relented, so I was happy that it all worked out. It’s a bit weird getting a visit at night, but I really enjoyed it. Though, I think I prefer the weekend daytime visits.
On the way back to my cell, one of the escorting officers asked, “What do you think is gonna happen with your case next year?” I told him I wasn’t sure, to which he replied, “You’ve been locked up 30 years, right?” And I told him overall, yes, but on this particular case it’s been 25 and a half years.
He looked at me very seriously and said, “Yeah, they need to just let you go home and call it a day. You’ve done your time. I mean, damn, I’ve known you 5 years now since you’ve been coming back and forth from Death Row to Dallas, and you’ve been the exact same person every single time. We never have a problem with you. They need to just let you go home. You weren’t even a shooter.”
“It’d be nice,” I replied.
I’ve had several officers tell me that since I’ve been here, and it is a nice thing to hear, but reality dictates different circumstances. At least some people—people on the criminal justice side of things—see the person that I am. Makes me feel a bit better when people say nice things. I used to get really bothered when people I don’t even know, or even know me for that matter, say cruel things about the person they perceive me to be, but I just shrug it off these days. Sometimes I feel the need to respond or defend myself, but usually I just chalk it up to what it really is: ignorant people that have a very narrow view of life and how they think the world should operate. They willfully and woefully ignore the complexities of human behavior, all while hiding behind a computer screen.
6:26 AM. It’s Saturday now. The day got away from me yesterday. I went outside for recreation, and then came back in, spending a little time on the phone. Around 1 PM, I had a legal visit, in which my attorney cautioned me to be careful in the things I say or do, which I fundamentally understand. I understand how even the most innocent or benign thing that I do or say can be turned around and weaponized against me, but it’s also extremely emotionally exhausting having to look over my shoulder every second of my life. I have been doing this now—living like this—for 25 years. I’m caught in this legal loop and limbo in the hopes that somehow, I will live through it all. It can be too much to bear at times, and it is overwhelming. It’s a suffering all on its own that I don’t think most people can relate to. I just want this legal nightmare to end.
Something else I thought about is how, even through all of this, I should be more mindful and grateful for the life I do have. For a reason that is beyond me, I was spared 6 and a half years ago. I keep talking about how I hope to have a second chance, but the reality of it all is that I was given that second chance on October 4th, 2019. I’m living that second chance. And while I’ve moved forward in a way to ready myself, by taking classes and learning in preparation of a life in service towards others, I have at times lost sight of the things I should be grateful for. I need to do better in that. I don’t want to let people down. I don’t want to let myself down.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
June 2nd, 2026
Tuesday. As I write this, it’s about 10 AM, and so far the Smart Communications system is still up and running, which is a surprise because on the notice we received, it clearly stated that on June 2nd the system would go down. I don’t know if that could’ve meant that they did the repairs overnight, or if it means at any time today. I guess I will have to wait and see.
Yesterday I heard from a close friend on Death Row, Jeff, and he shared that the new Head Warden on Polunsky Unit had reinstated the unit movie channel, or as it is called, Channel 12, after over a year of it being removed. This was pretty good news to hear because Channel 12 was a unit incentive for good behavior. The channel was always pre-programmed to come on during the weekends, and movies would run throughout the entire weekend as long as the good behavior of inmates continued. It was also a sort of bonding event for us on Death Row, because most everyone was always excited for the weekend to come. We would all stand at our doors watching movies together. On the section that I lived on, several guys would yell out their door when the movies began, “Movie time! Move time!” Jeff told me that the powers-that-be asked Field Minister Troup if he wanted the job of programming the movie channel, but he turned it down. I’m assuming because it is one of those political jobs in that you are trying to appease the movie taste of 2000+ inmates. Inevitably, some guys are going to berate you when you play a movie that they don’t like. The inmate that was previously in charge would talk about how he’d get cussed out in General Population if he played an animated movie or even romance movies. I’m sure Troup didn’t want to deal with that. I do wonder who will be entrusted to take over. Apparently, all they are allowed to show is PG-13 and below for viewing content, but I mean, heck, there’s a lot of good PG-13 movies.
I also learned that restrictive housing (Ad-Seg) has more content available on their tablets. If I’m spared the death penalty, I suppose I’ll inevitably start out in restrictive housing but hopefully earn my way out of there to become a Life Coach or Field Minister. At least I can listen to some good music until that happens.
Anyways, a bit more about my friend Jeff. You can look at his case at texaspoliticalprisoner.com. His full name is Ronald Jeffrey Prible, and he has been proclaiming his innocence for over two decades of being on Death Row. He was convicted from the use of a jailhouse snitch he didn’t even know. The jailhouse snitch said that Jeff had confessed to him in a holding cell as Jeff was being released from federal prison. Well, in a turn of events, Jeff was able to have some items tested from the scene of the crime that he was convicted of and sent to Death Row. Lo and behold, the DNA evidence excludes him from the crime. It should be noted that the prosecutor who tried his case, Kelly Siegler, had used that very same jailhouse snitch to obtain countless convictions that she prosecuted. She has now gone on to make a career out of sensationalized true crime television shows. Jeff’s legal team is now preparing to file a joint legal brief with the Harris County District Attorney’s Office to formally declare his innocence. This is really great news, and I’m so happy for him. He has been a friend and a brother over the 2+ decades that I’ve known him.
That’s about it for the day. Keep safe out there.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
June 1st, 2026
Monday night. Cannot believe it is already the beginning of a new month. The day has been pretty nice. Went to rec this morning and while it was extremely warm, it was still a lovely morning and I enjoyed looking out at the city. I have glasses now, and being able to actually see things in the distance that I couldn’t see before has made going outside even more enjoyable. Spent the rest of the day enjoying myself on the phone, because tomorrow the Smart Communications system is going to be down for repairs. They’re saying that it could take anywhere between 24 and 48 hours which is going to suck, but if it means keeping the tablet from its constant crashing, then hopefully it’ll be worth it.
Saw an interesting thing on our Attorney General Ken Paxton, who is also the Republican nominee for US Senate. Ken Paxton has aggressively pushed for Texas Death Row inmate Robert Roberson's execution, in spite of overwhelming evidence that he is innocent. Conversely, Ken Paxton made a deal with a well-connected attorney—an admitted child rapist—for a misdemeanor sentence of 60 days in jail, in which he doesn't even have to register as a sex offender. Is this really who the MAGA crowd wants to elect for US Senator? This hypocrisy stinks more than cow poo on a hot Texas summer day. So, it’ll be interesting to see how he explains this away as he campaigns. I think it’s interesting that the worst thing they can say about the Democratic nominee, James Talarico, is that he was once a vegan, which he denies anyways. So, in comparison, one guy cuts sweetheart deals for a child rapist, while the other guy likes his vegetables? Boy, that MAGA base sure does enjoy their corrupted politicians. God bless America.
Not much else going on. Winding down for the night. Hope everyone is keeping safe out there.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace and puppies.
May 28th, 2026
Thursday morning. I slept better last night than I did the two prior nights, and that was a relief. I feel much better today than I did yesterday, but I do have some residual sluggishness this morning that I hope to shake off as the day goes by. It’s been raining a lot over the past week and that kind of adds to the slow, weighted feeling.
There’s been a notice on our Smart Communications tablets that next week on June 2nd the system will be down for up to 48 hours to do some maintenance. I hope that they’ll actually fix the system, because of late it has been horrible. It’s been crashing every day. I often have to reboot my tablet because it’ll crash during phone calls, or doing a message, or watching Pando. It’s insanity. The thing that will suck during those days is I won’t be able to make calls, and with nothing to do these youngsters are going to go nuts, and I am certain the place is going to be crazy loud.
I’ve been thinking about a couple of things of late. The first is that Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton won his runoff race for the Republican nomination, beating John Cornyn for US Senator. Ken Paxton is probably one of the most intellectually dishonest and corrupt politicians Texas has ever had, and yet his MAGA base has kept him afloat because he can play all the MAGA hits; DEI, Woke-ism, transphobia, Islamophobia, etc. Never mind that he is morally bankrupt and a hypocrite, which seems to be par for the course for the MAGA crowd. He’ll be facing the Democratic nominee, James Talarico, in November. If I could vote, I’d be voting Talarico. Not just because he has openly expressed concerns with the death penalty, but also because he seems honest, sincere, and has a desire to truly bridge the divide between people in this country. He’s proved as much as a politician in Texas. His faith (which is seemingly an affront to White Christian Nationalism, because he actually follows Jesus’ teachings to love thy neighbor) is very important to him, and his faith is a moral compass for him, unlike those on the far-right that use it only when it is politically convenient. I just hope that sensible Texas voters will reject what Ken Paxton stands for and vote James Talarico.
The other thing I’ve been thinking about is whether or not sentient life exists beyond Earth. We’d be foolish to believe otherwise, but have they truly visited us? Is this what all of this UAP stuff is about? I’m far from a conspiracy theorist, but I do believe that we are close to disclosure, and it’s something I hope to see in my lifetime. It would be amazing if it happened, and it would forever change how we see the universe, ourselves, and our role in it. It could be very disruptive in religion and politics, but if there is any time to announce to the world that we are not alone, it is now. Please G-d let it be in my lifetime, haha.
It’s later now and has turned out to be a busy day. I was going to spend some time catching up on messages from friends in between phone calls, but it turned out that I had the third and final part of my neuropsychological evaluation today. I had no idea and was caught off guard, but I think it went well. When I came back it was already the afternoon, so I had lunch and made some calls. Now I’m waiting on dinner, and my tablet is recharging. When I get my tablet back, I’m hoping to listen to A Quiet Place Part II. I love these movies, and I found out earlier today that part III is coming out the summer of 2027. I can’t wait.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
May 25th, 2026
Memorial Day. It’s early, and the jail feels like a ghost town. I don’t have the slightest clue as to who is doing recreation. I don’t even know what time it is, but if I had to guess, judging from the way the sunlight is reflecting off the bricks in the hallway, it’s probably around 8 AM. I’ve been up since around 6:30 AM, and I just finished exercising.
Yesterday was a good day. Had a great visit and wore myself out the entire afternoon. We spent the evening looking at the possibility of opening an X account, but I’m loathe to be on a platform that allows such blatant racism and hate. We decided against it.
So, here’s my thoughts on the US Constitution’s First Amendment and freedom of speech in regards to social media platforms. Anyone has the G-d-given right to say whatever the heck they want to say. You wanna be a bigot, homophobe, or racist, have at it. However, if you choose to invoke your First Amendment rights to spew out such vileness, you should not be allowed to do it under the cover of anonymity, i.e. fake usernames, pseudonyms, or whatever. After all, what is the point of expressing the freedom of speech if you’re going to hide yourself in a cowardly way? If you want to express what is in the darkness of your soul, effing own it. Everyone talks a good game about ‘accountability, accountability,’ until it’s time to hold themselves accountable.
Today’s agenda. Not really sure yet, but this officer working just really irritated me. Someone asked if they could have their tablet because they have a video visit scheduled for 9 AM. The officer replied, “We ain’t on your time. I’ll pass out tablets when I feel like passing it out.” I think it’s going to take guys writing grievances to break certain officers of that behavior, because I’ve noticed in the past few months it’s becoming more pervasive. The purpose of the tablets is to make a ton of money for the jail and Smart Communications, as well as connect inmates with their loved ones. You can’t do either when the officers feel like it’s a hindrance to them.
Back to today’s agenda. I guess I’m gonna sit here and wait for my tablet, and after that, who knows?
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
May 23rd, 2026
I’m starting this on Friday and can’t believe the end of the week is here and we’re heading into Memorial Day weekend. It’s crazy to think about how quickly time can fly by in this place. I had a good day yesterday, and I’m hoping today is the same.
As I am doing this journal entry, I’m waiting to go outside for recreation. Sleep was a bit rough last night. They didn’t turn the lights off until close to 1 AM, and then when I woke up for breakfast around 3 AM the kid was yelling and screaming about something to do with his tray. I laid in bed when he began to yell my name. I ignored him at first, trying to fall back asleep, but he kept calling me. Annoyed, I said, “Yeah?”
And he asked me, “Did you get a diet tray?”
“Yeah,” I replied.
“Well, they didn’t give me mine. I’m going to f*ck this guard up,” said the kid.
“Don’t do that,” I said. “Why are you always trying to make your situation worse than it already is? Besides, the breakfast tray was just muffins. You got the better tray.”
“It was just muffins?” he asked.
“Just muffins,” I replied.
“Oh, okay. Already!”
“Are you calmed down now?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’m good.”
“Good,” I replied. “Now let me go back to sleep.”
Gonna jump on my tablet real quick before I go to rec. I’m gonna be back later.
*******************
Saturday. Yesterday got away from me, but the good news is I got my glasses. Been getting a lot of compliments on ‘em, but only one person really matters, and she thinks I look great, so I’ll take it. It was a really, really good day today. Got to get out of my cell for a visit. Came back to my cell and wore myself out. I had a really good afternoon. Listened to the movie Smile, and that’s been pretty much it.
Hope everyone that reads this is keeping safe out there and treating one another with dignity and respect. You don’t have to agree with everyone, but there’s no reason to not treat them like a human being.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
May 19th, 2026
I’m starting this early Tuesday morning. It’s barely 7 AM I think. I woke up a little before 6 AM and I couldn’t fall back to sleep, so I started my day with my typical routine; brushed my teeth, washed my face, and cleaned my cell. I should probably start my exercises but I’m feeling a bit low energy right now. Depending on how long it takes to pass out tablets, I might do something.
Yesterday I heard from Field Minister Troup, and he was catching me up on all things Polunsky Unit and Death Row. Apparently, the unit has a new Head Warden, who once was the Death Row warden in 2021. I remember him being decent, and he allowed Field Minister Troup to begin showing movies to the Death Row inmates in the winter of 2021. Hopefully, the warden is a good fit and can bring about positive changes.
Troup also told me that my faith-based program section just graduated and completed the program, and now all the guys signed up to begin the advanced program, which will offer critical-thinking and other classes. I’m really proud of those guys.
The big news is that all of the Death Row sections now have big screen televisions, so that each cell can now watch tv. The first sections to get the big screen televisions were the faith-based program, which angered the guys living on non-program sections. They felt that it was showing favoritism, but I knew Field Minister Troup and Gary and their vision to have all those sections receive one. The guy didn’t believe me. I kept telling them what Troup and Gary had told me, saying, “Look, the warden signed off on it. It’s just a matter of church funding and approving the tvs. Be patient. They’ll come.” Well, I’m glad to see that it finally happened, more so because not everyone can afford to buy movies on their Securus tablets. At least guys that can’t have the opportunity to watch movies on the big screens now. If you know the layout of each section, it’s very difficult for all of the cells to see the tiny tv that was in the day room.
Before - small tv
After - big tv
Laundry should be here around 9 AM. The place is incredibly silent right now, which I’m appreciating. Last night was a bit rowdy and distracting. It did get quiet after midnight. The kid has been going to bed early, which has helped tremendously, though my Venezuelan neighbor has been a bit restless, and making most of the noise by singing loudly and yelling loudly at random times of the day. All of that being said, I feel incredibly at peace and fulfilled. I’m no longer feeling the same anxiousness I did last summer. I felt so restless for various reasons, and a lot had to do with lack of sleep and trying to process the fact that the current Dallas DA was re-seeking the death penalty. Of course, there were other factors as well. It’s amazing how the right circumstances can completely change all of that. I had no idea going into the new year that my life would be forever changed. Even on the most stressful days here, I can take comfort and find and inner peace in that change.
I continually ask myself, what do I want out of life? As complex of a person as I am, my answer is always straightforward and simple:
Live a life of purpose and in service to others.
Seek forgiveness and redemption.
To love and be loved.
These things push me forward on my path. It’s a nice feeling to have something to look forward to and strive for.
Well, laundry never came, so it’s on with the day. I leave as I come.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
May 17th, 2026
Sunday morning and I’m sitting here waiting on a visit. It’s been really nice to get out of my cell and be able to sit in front of someone that means the world to me, and chat for a few minutes. Dallas County Jail only allows for 20 min visits, but sometimes they’ll allow a few extra minutes depending on the visitation officer, or how busy the place is.
I’ve been having some weird dreams of late. On Saturday night, I had an execution dream. I’ve not had one of these dreams in years. The ones I’ve had in the past were terrifying, but the one Saturday night was more vague and odd. I was eating a sandwich when I was told I had an hour left before a decision would come on whether or not I’d be executed. I was a little anxious but not scared. I thought to myself, I’d better enjoy this sandwich, because it might be my last. I suppose it’s because I’ve been really focused on death penalty matters as of late. I feel a certain responsibility to speak up for the men I’ve left behind. I don’t know my own fate in the present, but having a small platform and a voice, it’s the least I can do.
Well, it’s later now. Had a great visit earlier today. Sucks that I’m gonna have to wait a week for another one, but I will enjoy them for as long as I have them because it will probably be until fall until I can get some more visits. Waiting on my tablet to finish charging right now. We get a charge overnight for tablet use in the morning, and one charge in the afternoon because the Smart Communications tablet sucks so badly. Horrible company, horrible tablet, and yet they continue to get these lucrative jail contracts that rake in billions of dollars annually. You’d think they’d invest a little of what they make into a better system/tablet, but no. They just continue to screw over inmates and their families. God bless America.
Not much else to say, so I will leave it here for now.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
May 14th, 2026
It’s Thursday morning as I begin this, and I’m feeling a bit reflective. I had a really rare good night of sleep, and my brain is working properly, which I’m grateful for.
Yesterday was a wonderful day. My life was remarkably altered in the best of ways, and I’m moving forward with a renewed sense of peace, hope, and promise. One of these days I’ll explain all that has happened, but for right now it’s just for me to have and hold in my soul.
So, what have I been reflective about? Today is the scheduled execution of Edward Busby and should it go through, it will mark Texas’ 600th execution since the death penalty was reinstated in the late 1970s. I was on Death Row for more than 200 of those executions, during the almost 22 years I was there. 200 executions. 200 men that I personally knew. 200 men that I either talked to or crossed paths with. How many people in this world can say that they knew over 200 people that were killed? Almost no one but the men or women that live on Death Row. And yet, the trauma (And no doubt there is trauma. When I had my evaluation last week, the neuropsychologist told me that being exposed to that level of death, even in the institutional setting of Death Row, absolutely leads to trauma and PTSD.) is somehow completely fine. Who cares if you subject Death Row inmates to that? They’re the ‘scum of the earth and deserve to have battery acid poured down their throats.' This is the mentality of half of the country when it comes to their belief in a systematic murder of society’s ilk.
I can only hope that the Supreme Court stays the execution of Edward Busby, and they recognize his intellectual disability. Someone on Facebook said that he was smart enough to kill, to which I say that even single-cell organisms kill. The ability to kill can’t be measured by some kind of test, nor does it take into consideration the complexities and circumstances of a person’s life. I get so exhausted by black and white thinking. Is it always as simple as right or wrong? Good vs evil? What if a man with the inability to rationally consider the consequences of what his actions can lead to thinks, ‘I am desperate, I need money, no one will hire me because I’m an uneducated black man,’ decides to kidnap— not kill—an elderly woman, put duct tape over her face to silence her, and she accidentally suffocates to death? Wrong? Absolutely. It’s horrible that that could happen. But when does society start asking the hard questions about HOW or WHY something like this happens? It doesn’t make Edward Busby evil.
Do you want to know who Edward Busby is? He is a guy who, when he is able to go to commissary, eats everything he has within two days because he can’t control himself, then asks other guys for their food because he’s hungry. That isn’t normal behavior. It screams of a disability. Furthermore, Edward Busby has the intellectual and emotional intelligence of a teenager. He’s five years older than me, and whenever I would talk to him, I always felt like I was talking to a kid. This is the person the State wants to kill? Sadly, there are dozens of other men on Death Row just like him. Same struggles, same disability.
The other thing I’ve been thinking about, and I’m sure it is only coincidental, is how many of the men recently executed or are facing execution themselves have been in TDCJ’s faith-based program. The same program that I was a part of. The faith-based program focuses on accountability, one’s spirituality, personal growth, rehabilitation, and redemption. I find it ironic that the State can offer a program for men that proves the ability to change and to grow as human beings, a program that lays lie to the belief that these men are a future threat to society, and proving the fact that they can change through these classes. The very same State that created this program and allowed it to be on Death Row turns around and kills them anyway. But you know what? The men that enter into this program are acutely aware that it won’t save their life. We all knew that we could still be executed. We all knew it wasn’t some magical solution for being spared. Those of us who entered it did so because we wanted to be better human beings, including Edward Busby.
It’s much later now. Spent the day hoping that Edward Busby would be spared. Sadly, he has become the 600th man to be executed in Texas.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
May 12th, 2026
Forever starts tomorrow.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
May 10th, 2026
Sunday evening. Trapped inside my cell. My Venezuelan neighbor seems to be losing his mind; he’s been making weird noises all afternoon. It was a good day earlier. Yesterday I had a really great extended visit that was supposed to happen on Friday, but due to crazy circumstances that didn’t happen so instead we did it on Saturday, which actually worked out for the better because we got a little extra time. And we got a little extra time today, so I was very happy about that.
Tonight is razor night. They usually don’t pass out the razors until about 11 PM, which is a little bit on the absurd side, but Dallas County Jail has always done things this way, so I’ll shave and hopefully get to bed afterwards. Then I’ll wake up and hopefully get to rec in the morning.
I think I will share another story from my time on Death Row. This one is about the time we played a prank on a guy named David Woods, or as we call him, Woody. Woody is one of those guys that catastrophizes about everything. He’s rarely happy and if anything can go wrong with him, it will go wrong. He carries a perpetual rain cloud above his head. One evening on a Saturday he had been fishing some magazines under the door to the next section, to my friend Big Will. At the same time, I was talking to Blaine and Robert Pruett through the vents in the cell, when suddenly all of the locks to the crossover doors to each section popped open. A lieutenant walked through the door at the same time Woody and Big Will were fishing and in his hands were the magazines and the fishing line. He dropped the magazines in front of the shower and began tying the fishing line to the door. I heard Woody say, “Oh man, well that’s it. I’m gonna get a disciplinary case,” which in all actuality was highly unlikely, but I decided it was the perfect opportunity to pull off a prank. I ran back to the vent and told Blaine and Robert what had just happened and the idea I had. Both Robert and Blaine live downstairs, so Woody had no idea I was talking to them through the vent. Robert yelled up to Woody and said, “Oh no, did you just get caught fishing by the lieutenant?”
“Yeah, why?” Woody replied.
“Because I just heard the lieutenant tell the officer down here to write you a major case and send you to Level 2.”
At the same time that Robert was talking to Woody, Blaine was talking to the pod officer, telling him about the prank he was going to pull, convincing the officer to go upstairs and tell Woody to pack up his property, that he was going to Level 2 disciplinary immediately.
I heard Woody tell the officer, “Are you kidding me?”
“Yeah, the lieutenant just told me you disrespected him. There’ll be no mercy.”
I was trying to keep myself from bursting out laughing because Woody sounded like he was gonna cry. The officer walked by my cell, smiled at me, and gave a thumbs up sign. About a minute or two later, I heard Woody begin to throw things out the side of his door—old magazines, trash, a homemade speaker—and I said, “Woody, what are you doing?”
“He just told me that the lieutenant is sending me to the disciplinary pod. I’ve gotta get rid of my junk. They’re going to throw it away anyways.”
Feeling bad, I told Woody, “Dude, you’re not going to Level 2. We were playing a prank on you.”
He got real quiet for about 5 minutes. Robert and Blaine were yelling through the vents, “What’s going on? What did he say?”
I told them, “I don’t know. He’s gone quiet. I think we may have pissed him off.” I went back to the door and called Woody’s name. I asked Woody, “Are you okay, man?”
To which he replied, “I wasn’t going to go if that was real. I was going to make them bring the use of force team.”
Blaine yelled up to him, “A use of force team? Bro, you’re 60 years old! They would’ve killed you!”
Woody was clearly trying to act tougher than he is. The last thing that Woody said before the night was over was, “Who’s going to replace the stuff that I threw out my door?”
That was a good night. I really like thinking about these lighter moments on the row. It reminds me how human we all really are.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
May 8th, 2026
Beunas noches. I am exhausted, so this is not going to be very long. It has been a very stressful day, but all worked out in the end, so I’m happy for that. Yesterday I had the second part of my psychological/neurological evaluation. I think it went very well, as the night before I got plenty of sleep. I have the last part of the evaluation in a couple of weeks. Don’t know when exactly. Then the State will have their turn to poke and prod at me, trying to assess whether I’m a future threat of dangerousness, which is a bit ridiculous as I’ve gone 25 years without being in trouble. But, unfortunately, it is necessary in all capital death penalty trials.
Winding down the night.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
May 4th, 2026
Happy Star Wars Day—may the 4th be with you. I’m so tired. Last night was horrible for sleep. They didn’t turn the lights off until 2 AM. Well, I say ‘turn the lights off’ loosely. They never turn the lights off completely in Dallas County Jail. When it is midnight, they’re supposed to turn off the big overhead fluorescent lights while leaving on the fairly bright security light, so that the guards can see into the cells. On Death Row and in TDCJ, inmates have complete control over their lights, and they can turn them on or off as they please. If the guards want to look into a dark cell, they just use their flashlight.
Anyways, the day lights remained on until 2 AM, which had the result of keeping up the kids, and the kids were out of control last night, in particular, the school shooter. He was yelling, growling, and barking like a dog, kicking on his door, and, in general, being annoying as ever. This went on well past breakfast before things finally settled down. I slept maybe 2 hours tops before my eyes popped back open at about 6:30 AM. I lay in bed waiting for the rec officer so that I could get scheduled to go outside, and I’ve been up ever since. Need to exercise but have almost no energy. I just really need sleep.
You know what I find funny? These kids in the jail often say that they are ‘grown-ass men;’ they want to be treated like men. If you call them a kid, they feel slighted or disrespected, to which I always respond, if you want to be treated like a man, act like a man, not the 18-year-old you are.
This week will be a busy one for me. I have the second half of my psychological/neurological evaluation. I’m not exactly sure what day, but I hope I can go into it better rested than I was last week. I’m definitely glad it wasn’t today, because I’m sure my IQ would’ve tested to be the equivalent of a Fruit Loop. I have a special extended visit on Friday, which I’m really, really excited for. And who knows what else the week will bring?
Gonna pause here. SRTs have arrived to take me to recreation.
12:30 PM. Came back from recreation. It was a lovely, beautiful morning. The sun had risen above the skyscrapers. There was a nice, cool breeze. The city looked alive. I did some light exercises, walked around thinking, and enjoyed the peacefulness of it all. Going outside is my temporary break from this place, and I always feel mentally better when I come back inside. Still very tired but I’m up for the day, and nothing is going to keep me away from what I enjoy doing the most, and the person I spend time with.
I want to add one last thought. In Texas, there is a scheduled execution on May 14th of Edward Lee Busby. We called him Eddie Lee on the row. He suffers from an intellectual disability, which the courts refused to acknowledge. The State has been playing number games with his IQ score, and his trial court judge refused to accept the overwhelming fact that he is intellectually disabled. I hope that if this is of any concern to anyone, they will speak out on behalf of him to the governor’s office, as well as the Tarrant County district attorney, and demand that the State should not be executing intellectually disabled men.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
May 2nd, 2026
**This entry contains foul language that reflects a real-life incident.
Saturday night. I’m extremely tired. I got almost no sleep yesterday because the 18-year-old decided he was going to stand at his door all night long and hold a conversation with 65 cell, who is all the way down the hall from him. When I did fall asleep shortly after breakfast, I was awakened again at around 5:30 AM because someone’s toilet was backing up and flooding into the hallway. I was violently awakened by the sound of officers yelling, mop buckets banging, and a wet vac machine. I managed to fall back asleep after shift change, and got out of bed around 8 AM. Spent most of the day talking on the phone, listening to the movie The Shawshank Redemption, and feeling very at peace and fulfilled.
As you may have noticed, we have decided to do a Facebook page. I haven’t done social media in years. I generally detest social media, but decided that in light of all that has been going on with executions and the anti-death penalty movement it was time to come out of retirement and offer opinions and support to those being executed specifically in Texas. I have spent the majority of my life on Death Row. Regardless of what happens to me in my own legal affairs, I will always be connected to Death Row and the guys that I practically grew up with. They are my friends. They are my brothers. They are my family. I can’t in good conscience sit around and say nothing. I hope that whoever reads this will be kind enough to follow us, as it is a separate entity from the website with different content.
Something else I was thinking about doing, specifically in these journals, is to occasionally share stories from my time on Death Row that I could never share with anyone. One in particular that I thought about today happened about 18 years ago, when I lived on a section with Robert Pruett. We were on lockdown for the annual unit shakedown, and his toilet stopped working. Because of the lockdown, the maintenance workers weren’t allowed to leave the cellblocks to come and fix his toilet. He didn’t want to use his toilet because there was no way to flush it, so he began to pee in water bottles and poop in chip bags. During the lockdowns, we would get what is called a ‘johnny sack.’ A johnny sack is a brown paper lunch bag that typically has two sandwiches and some raisins or prunes inside it. Robert would take the chip bag, put it inside the paper johnny sack, and then throw the sack out on the walkway so the officers could clean it up. Unbeknownst to the officers who had to clean up the sack on the walkway, they were throwing away his poop. One particular day, Robert threw a bag of poop out on the runway, which was neatly wrapped up in the paper sack, and it lay on the run untouched all morning long. When it was time to feed lunch, an officer was pulling a crate full of johnny sacks. He stopped the crate in between two cells right in front of the poop-filled paper sack, grabbed a johnny sack from the crate, opened the slot for one inmate and gave him the sack, and then turned around and saw what looked like a johnny sack dropped on the walkway. I guess he thought that the sack had fallen out of the crate, because he picked it up and put it right into the crate, grabbed a separate sack, and fed the next inmate. When he went to the next inmate’s cell, he grabbed the sack he had picked up and gave it to an inmate named Bobby Wood. The officer continued down the walkway, when suddenly Bobby Wood cried out, “Hey! This johnny sack has sh*t in it!”
The officer, thinking he was talking about the poor quality of food, replied, “Yeah! They all have sh*t in ‘em.”
Bobby Wood grew angry and said, “NO! This johnny sack has SH*T in it!”
The officer, refusing to stop, walked through the door and said, “Yeah, yeah, like I said, they all have sh*t in ‘em.”
Robert Pruett started to laugh uncontrollably and said, “Hey Bobby, how does my sh*t taste? Is the sh*t sandwich good?”
Everybody started to laugh. Bobby Wood was very angry and began kicking on the door to try to get the officer to come back, yelling over and over, “I got sh*t in my sack! I got sh*t in my sack!”
Sadly, poor Bobby Wood never got another johnny sack for his lunch. Everybody teased him for the rest of the day. This is just one of many stories. We’ll tell more soon.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.
May 1st, 2026
I want to start this by mentioning the execution of James Broadnax yesterday evening. We called him J.B. on the row. While I wasn’t close friends with him, I did know him fairly well. He was always quiet, respectful, and kind. He was incredibly intelligent and would always be there to listen or to mentor anyone that was seeking advice or help. In light of his cousin’s confession, it’s a disgrace that our criminal justice system not only did nothing to intervene but seemingly mocked him. Is this who we have become? I hope everyone involved in the fight to save his life will be able to find peace and comfort, and his friends on Death Row are doing okay today. Everyone on Texas Death Row processes executions differently. Some hit harder than others, and knowing how respected J.B. was, I’m sure this is hitting the guys pretty hard.
The past two days have been a bit stressful for me, as the guy in 83 cell was in full-on crisis mode. It started Wednesday night when he began yelling and screaming nonstop at his door. His thoughts were more paranoid than ever. He was convinced there were people dressed in black with lasers on their heads walking up and down the halls in the middle of the night. I got no sleep that night, and he went well on into Thursday morning yelling incoherently. One of the officers said that they called the psych department, and psych doctors were supposed to come down to see him, but that never happened. Later that evening, he seemed to settle down a bit. It was quiet throughout the night and I was able to get some sleep, but I ended up sleeping so hard I missed recreation in the morning, which I wasn’t terribly upset about because I really needed to sleep. As I got on the phone this morning, he suddenly erupted again and accused one of the officers of letting his girlfriend into another inmate’s cell. His agitation only grew stronger when the officer dismissed what he was saying and told him he was crazy. And as the officer walked off, he said he was going to kill himself. Up until this point, I wasn’t really paying attention to what he was doing in his cell, as I was enjoying my conversation on the phone, but as soon as he said he was going to kill himself I told the person I was talking to on the phone to hold on. That’s when I noticed him tearing a strip of his bed sheet off, and he began to wrap it around his neck. I ran to the panic button in the cell and told the control officer that 83 cell looked like he was about to hang himself. He said okay, and nothing happened. At all. As I was watching him try to tie the sheet onto the shelf fixture, I began to call his name and tell him, “Don’t do it, don’t do it. It’s not worth it,” but he ignored me. So then I began to call out my door for officers to come, saying it looked like 83 cell was about to hang himself. When that went ignored, I started kicking on my door, and then other guys around me started going off on me because I was trying to help the guy in 83 cell, which really pissed me off. I told them that this guy looked like he was about to try to commit suicide, and they replied that he only wanted attention. I told them it doesn’t matter if he wants attention or not, I’m not going sit around being quiet if I can do something to prevent this.
A few minutes after that, an officer and a psych doctor showed up to his door. The psych doctor looked annoyed that he had been disturbed from whatever he was doing to come down here and help 83 cell. He asked him, “What’s going on?” 83 cell shouted back some nonsense, and the psych doctor walked off. After that, 83 cell covered up all of his windows and I had no idea what was going on until an SRT was passing out lunch, saw the blanket that was hanging on the inside of his door, asked me what was going on, and I told him I’d been trying to tell officers that he’s been saying he was trying to kill himself, but no one’s taking it serious. The SRT removed something from his pocket that was able to knock the blanket from his door, and then 83 cell started ramming his head into the door. The SRT wasted no time, opened up his door, grabbed ahold of him and said, “C’mon, I’m going to take you to go get help.” I was impressed by the SRT’s professionalism and concern. He was the only jail official to intervene and get this guy the help that he needs. As far as I know, he is now in Crisis Observation, and I can only hope that he will receive whatever meds he needs to help him deal with whatever is going on with himself. Dallas County Jail sadly has a long history of ignoring inmates with mental health issues. I witnessed it firsthand today.
Not much else going on today. Just waiting for a video visit. I hope the rest of the day is peaceful.
Be kind.
Courage. Strength. Hope and faith.
Peace.